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Apostrophes

by Bruce W Niedt

(for Pedro)

 

I lost a couple of apostrophes.

I know they were there the last time I looked.

What couldve become of them?

Did they fall between cushions of my couch?

 

Or were they stolen by a pair

of possessive “its”?

You know the type:

they want the status of colloquial;

 

they want to wear it like a barrette,

to be the shortened “it is”,

to confuse the vernacular. Problem is,

no one can tell the difference any more.

 

Or maybe my wife is wearing them

as earrings. I may have thought they were

fresh-water pearls, because they looked

so lovely on her lobes.

 

In any case, I will have to replace them

with an eyelash, or a mouses tear –

something as ephemeral

as the rest of the language.

03/02/2004

Author's Note: [First published in Edison Literary Review, Fall 2004.]

Posted on 03/02/2004
Copyright © 2024 Bruce W Niedt

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 03/02/04 at 12:54 PM

Witty, entertaining stuff Bruce. Nicely touches on one of the many contradictions of the English language, that an apostrophe indicates ownership except in the case of it's.

Posted by Maureen Glaude on 03/02/04 at 03:34 PM

I love this! really picked up my day. Those little items so examined in my critique groups

Posted by Rula Shin on 03/02/04 at 03:53 PM

Oh this poem is so creative and the last stanza wraps up the whole idea so perfectly. You have some great lines here, "Or were they stolen by a pair of possessive “its”? You know the type..." -so light hearted and amusing, I like how you personify the language in this manner. You are so right about your wife easily using those apostrophes as earrings...our 'rules' of language can truly be chaotic and some of the original intentions of grammar are now warped. Wonderful read! :-)

Posted by Alison McKenzie on 07/22/04 at 04:59 PM

I used to think I had puncuation down!!! And then the rules went and changed on my (a recent discovery while assiting a friend in a college english course) ESPECIALLY where apostrophe rules USED to be. Dang this language!! LOL!! I loved this, Bruce!!!

Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 10/19/06 at 01:29 AM

Delightful - nice to see this front and center.

Posted by Leslie Ann Eisenberg on 10/19/06 at 02:22 AM

amazing how you took something so ordinary and concrete, and brought it to life as eyelashes, mouse tears, and earrings. stunning visual effects! congrats on POTD, a way cool choice! :) PK

Posted by Michelle Angelini on 10/19/06 at 06:22 AM

Congratulations, Bruce, on POTD. I'd try to say something profound, but I'm very tired. ;-)

Posted by Linda Fuller on 06/30/10 at 06:30 PM

I'm likin' this (there's two + one)

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