defeated (but that's how you like me.)

by Rachelle Howe

you are the bamboo
sitting on my desk
drying brown.

i watered you, but you
weren't fond of sunlight.
i kept your soil full, but
you liked rocks instead.
i can never please you, can i?

i'm in this great divide,
the distance between two arms
are like crevasses, and if i jump
i'm bound to break my leg.

i can only smash myself
upon your condescending shore
so many times,
this body is worn, so worn, and
i can't handle any more stitches from
the needle of your hands.

i'm trembling now, the cold has
worn through my light clothing,
i should have packed for winter
but they forecasted another sunny day.

then your storm came
and i was cracked free.

you're the hurricane
i've kept in a bottle,
spinning when i decide
to shake you up.


Posted on 10/20/2003
Copyright © 2022 Rachelle Howe

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Kristine Briese on 10/20/03 at 05:41 PM

Vibrant and compelling; you've done it again, Ms. Genius.

Posted by Cole Miller on 10/20/03 at 06:20 PM

i really enjoyed reading this, the last bit is my favorite, it sticks with me..

Posted by Jolie Jordan on 10/21/03 at 02:07 AM

This is fabulous, I love the analogies you used. I clicked expecting something good, but what I got was spectacular.

Posted by Ginette T Belle on 10/21/03 at 02:50 AM

i am speechless through currents of emotion that have electrified me reading this over and over and over...i am speechless...

Posted by Jessica Yen on 10/21/03 at 07:50 AM

i love the analogies that you used. wonderful! :)

Posted by Ashok Sharda on 10/21/03 at 05:36 PM

The imagery is good. The 'storm' seems to have caused an 'effect' you call a 'defeat' but sounds like a 'solution'? Probably the only solution in the midst of the conflict and the meaninglessness of the ongoing battle.

Posted by Glenn Currier on 10/22/03 at 02:57 AM

Gees... am I glad I discovered your poetry. You DO have a gift of deep imagery that delivers an arrow to the soul. Congratulations for an excellent poem, Rachelle.

Posted by Lori Johnson on 10/23/03 at 05:01 PM

I can't tell you how much I can relate to this one today. My chin is on the floor, I'm thinking you might have been that fly on my wall last night! LOL Wondrefully descriptive. :)

Posted by Don Coffman on 10/24/03 at 02:02 PM

Hmmm, and I managed to miss seeing this posted...

Incredible work, with a tone that suggests an undefined line between the urge to please and nurture, and a sort of submissiveness (much influence from the title there). Your ability with creative imagery is tops as always. the distance between two arms are like crevasses... much wowing is inspired.

Posted by Lauren Singer on 10/29/03 at 12:29 AM

wow this is beautiful, just exquisite.

Posted by Amanda L Marron on 10/29/03 at 01:08 PM


Posted by Quinlan L Gibson on 10/29/03 at 01:43 PM

This kicks ass. What a great title too Rachelle. A new favorite i do believe!

Return to the Previous Page

pathetic.org Version 7.3.2 May 2004 Terms and Conditions of Use 0 member(s) and 2 visitor(s) online
All works Copyright © 2022 their respective authors. Page Generated In 0 Second(s)