defeated (but that's how you like me.)
by Rachelle Howe
you are the bamboo
sitting on my desk
i watered you, but you
weren't fond of sunlight.
i kept your soil full, but
you liked rocks instead.
i can never please you, can i?
i'm in this great divide,
the distance between two arms
are like crevasses, and if i jump
i'm bound to break my leg.
i can only smash myself
upon your condescending shore
so many times,
this body is worn, so worn, and
i can't handle any more stitches from
the needle of your hands.
i'm trembling now, the cold has
worn through my light clothing,
i should have packed for winter
but they forecasted another sunny day.
then your storm came
and i was cracked free.
you're the hurricane
i've kept in a bottle,
spinning when i decide
to shake you up.
Posted on 10/20/2003
Copyright © 2022 Rachelle Howe
|Member Comments on this Poem|
|Posted by Kristine Briese on 10/20/03 at 05:41 PM|
Vibrant and compelling; you've done it again, Ms. Genius.
|Posted by Cole Miller on 10/20/03 at 06:20 PM|
i really enjoyed reading this, the last bit is my favorite, it sticks with me..
|Posted by Jolie Jordan on 10/21/03 at 02:07 AM|
This is fabulous, I love the analogies you used. I clicked expecting something good, but what I got was spectacular.
|Posted by Ginette T Belle on 10/21/03 at 02:50 AM|
i am speechless through currents of emotion that have electrified me reading this over and over and over...i am speechless...
|Posted by Jessica Yen on 10/21/03 at 07:50 AM|
i love the analogies that you used. wonderful! :)
|Posted by Ashok Sharda on 10/21/03 at 05:36 PM|
The imagery is good. The 'storm' seems to have caused an 'effect' you call a 'defeat' but sounds like a 'solution'? Probably the only solution in the midst of the conflict and the meaninglessness of the ongoing battle.
|Posted by Glenn Currier on 10/22/03 at 02:57 AM|
Gees... am I glad I discovered your poetry. You DO have a gift of deep imagery that delivers an arrow to the soul. Congratulations for an excellent poem, Rachelle.
|Posted by Lori Johnson on 10/23/03 at 05:01 PM|
I can't tell you how much I can relate to this one today. My chin is on the floor, I'm thinking you might have been that fly on my wall last night! LOL
Wondrefully descriptive. :)
|Posted by Don Coffman on 10/24/03 at 02:02 PM|
Hmmm, and I managed to miss seeing this posted...
Incredible work, with a tone that suggests an undefined line between the urge to please and nurture, and a sort of submissiveness (much influence from the title there). Your ability with creative imagery is tops as always. the distance between two arms
are like crevasses... much wowing is inspired.
|Posted by Lauren Singer on 10/29/03 at 12:29 AM|
wow this is beautiful, just exquisite.
|Posted by Amanda L Marron on 10/29/03 at 01:08 PM|
|Posted by Quinlan L Gibson on 10/29/03 at 01:43 PM|
This kicks ass. What a great title too Rachelle. A new favorite i do believe!