My Momma's Terrible Secret
by Carl WalkerOh my momma, I love her so
though she's gotten old
she doesn't move near as fast
and plays bridge no more
one day she called me by my brother's name
and I said, "no momma, this is Mike,"
such a reproachful look she gave me
and asked, "Russell, have you gone and changed the name I gave you!?"
that was quickly forgotten as she drew near and asked in conspiritual whisper
"Have you heard these wild stories they are telling about me?"
fact is I had heard some pretty wild ones just this week
"they are saying that there are some people kidnapping old folks like me,
and they make a body double so no one knows you're gone."
She pulled me closer as she glanced around to make sure no one would hear
and whispered anxiously, "and I'm the double"
I, uh, didn't argue with her any more.
09/21/2003
