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She (Prose)

by Graeme Fielden


Standing at the altar. Staring into the beauty of her deep blue eyes, her soft pale skin, her flowing braids of gold; the Vicar’s words a background buzz outside the world that was hers and mine alone. She dressed in white, soft as silk... pulled me helpless through the looking glass to a realm of dreams and passion; a place of secluded bliss where we lived from the time we first met.


That day of my rebirthing, when first I realised I had not lived. And through her interruption to my mundane existence she had given me fulfilment. Me the happy addict, her my addiction and my craving when she was not beside me - holding me close.


She abducted me: a helpless child adoring of this Goddess vision whose words soothed all turbulence about me and brought the sun to seeds inside me that lay dormant before her happy entrance to my life. She my lover and my teacher, my source of endless spring.


Now before this altar we present ourselves uttering words of vigilant binding before our creator. Our eyes share unspoken words of gratitude and memories shared eternal.


From the beginning I knew that She must be mine. She could be no others.


Her mother’s tears as She: decked resplendent in the purest white begins the procession past the isles until the casket's laid before me and I kiss her cold and purple lips.


If I could not have her She would be no others...


 


08/19/2003

Author's Note: An experimental piece of what I'm calling a "Scorpian Tale" - short and sharp with a deadly twist in the tale...

Posted on 08/19/2003
Copyright © 2021 Graeme Fielden

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Max Bouillet on 08/19/03 at 03:50 PM

Truly beautiful and heart warming.... until the wicked little twist at the end. Completely unexpected and extremely well crafted. Great read and the purple lip phrase was very vivid!

Posted by Kristine Briese on 08/19/03 at 04:11 PM

Stopped me cold. Excellent piece.

Posted by David R Spellman on 08/20/03 at 02:24 PM

I was enraptured by this beautiful scene unfolding before me and thought how special a moment it was and then...! You surely do make an interesting twist at the finale. Great read - well done.

Posted by Ashok Sharda on 08/20/03 at 04:23 PM

You have captured the scene so beautifully, without as well as within. The last line seems to have emanated from the essence.

Posted by Don Coffman on 08/21/03 at 02:31 AM

Absolutely stunning. The buildup was gorgeous and the end was definitely a twist. 'Scorpion Tale' is quite apt, and a pretty nifty way to categorize poetry.

Posted by JD Clay on 08/22/03 at 10:59 AM

Veiled poetry, Graeme. Immediately upon finishing this superbly written piece, I went back and read it again to find what I had missed. This piece really threw me for a loop. Quite effective to say the least, nice work. Peace...

Posted by Quentin S Clingerman on 08/27/03 at 07:03 PM

My mind reels! The sudden shift left me shaking my head in disbelief! Here I was ready to write eloquently about your description of young romance! Gothic ending for sure! Well titled series, "Scorpian's Tales".

Posted by Quinlan L Gibson on 10/01/03 at 01:10 AM

this simply took me.

Posted by Alex Smyth on 10/03/03 at 03:20 AM

*grinning* (Surely your family and friends do an occasional role call, just to make sure they are all accounted for? lol!)

Posted by Jeanne Marie Hoffman on 10/03/03 at 02:47 PM

You set this up so well, meaning the ending was a complete shock but after reading the poem, it makes sense ;) You succeeded, I look forward to more of your twisted endings

Posted by Michele Schottelkorb on 10/04/03 at 07:39 AM

whoa... before i reached the end, i had already formulated my comment in my mind (the usual "what a beautiful precious piece")... then you blew me away with the ending... morbid, yes; dark, yes; outstanding... definately... blessings...

Posted by Kate Demeree on 10/05/03 at 02:13 PM

I read this thinking awah... how nice another happy ending... only to find the twist at the end... I rather like the twist, and it sparked a bit of that raised eyebrow interest. But honestly... *grin* did you have to give us Scorps another bit of notariety for being not so very understanding? lol seriously well done!

Posted by Ginette T Belle on 01/09/04 at 03:05 PM

it has this whimisical tone to it...imagery is dazzling..

Posted by Beth K Hannah on 01/28/04 at 03:04 AM

the ending came as a suprise. Very good work here...imagery is wonderful.

Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 02/24/04 at 12:53 PM

Very effective writing Graeme. Superb use of the surprise ending with no hint of what was to come. Thanks again for your kudos on my Eulogy For A Poet.

Posted by Quentin S Clingerman on 05/07/04 at 01:41 PM

As I read this again I was still a bit shocked by the ending. It is just so unexpected!!! Unwanted, more to the point! LOL!

Posted by Alison McKenzie on 05/13/04 at 09:18 PM

Yikes. I didn't see it coming AT ALL. All the imagery right up to the line that slayed me....errrr, her.....Wow!!! Where are your other scorpions locked up?

Posted by Morgan D Hafele on 02/15/05 at 11:58 AM

wow. i love the ending twist. freaking amazing.

Posted by Brett Shane on 04/26/05 at 07:44 AM

that description put me in the room... with an ending i would have never expected.. awesome.

Posted by Traci Mabats on 07/10/05 at 11:25 PM

It's like Tom Duley by Poe or something. Chilly.

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