|Member Comments on this Poem|
|Posted by Max Bouillet on 08/19/03 at 03:50 PM|
Truly beautiful and heart warming.... until the wicked little twist at the end. Completely unexpected and extremely well crafted. Great read and the purple lip phrase was very vivid!
|Posted by Kristine Briese on 08/19/03 at 04:11 PM|
Stopped me cold. Excellent piece.
|Posted by David R Spellman on 08/20/03 at 02:24 PM|
I was enraptured by this beautiful scene unfolding before me and thought how special a moment it was and then...! You surely do make an interesting twist at the finale. Great read - well done.
|Posted by Ashok Sharda on 08/20/03 at 04:23 PM|
You have captured the scene so beautifully, without as well as within. The last line seems to have emanated from the essence.
|Posted by Don Coffman on 08/21/03 at 02:31 AM|
Absolutely stunning. The buildup was gorgeous and the end was definitely a twist. 'Scorpion Tale' is quite apt, and a pretty nifty way to categorize poetry.
|Posted by JD Clay on 08/22/03 at 10:59 AM|
Veiled poetry, Graeme. Immediately upon finishing this superbly written piece, I went back and read it again to find what I had missed. This piece really threw me for a loop. Quite effective to say the least, nice work.
|Posted by Quentin S Clingerman on 08/27/03 at 07:03 PM|
My mind reels! The sudden shift left me shaking my head in disbelief! Here I was ready to write eloquently about your description of young romance! Gothic ending for sure! Well titled series, "Scorpian's Tales".
|Posted by Quinlan L Gibson on 10/01/03 at 01:10 AM|
this simply took me.
|Posted by Alex Smyth on 10/03/03 at 03:20 AM|
*grinning* (Surely your family and friends do an occasional role call, just to make sure they are all accounted for? lol!)
|Posted by Jeanne Marie Hoffman on 10/03/03 at 02:47 PM|
You set this up so well, meaning the ending was a complete shock but after reading the poem, it makes sense ;) You succeeded, I look forward to more of your twisted endings
|Posted by Michele Schottelkorb on 10/04/03 at 07:39 AM|
whoa... before i reached the end, i had already formulated my comment in my mind (the usual "what a beautiful precious piece")... then you blew me away with the ending... morbid, yes; dark, yes; outstanding... definately... blessings...
|Posted by Kate Demeree on 10/05/03 at 02:13 PM|
I read this thinking awah... how nice another happy ending... only to find the twist at the end... I rather like the twist, and it sparked a bit of that raised eyebrow interest. But honestly... *grin* did you have to give us Scorps another bit of notariety for being not so very understanding? lol seriously well done!
|Posted by Ginette T Belle on 01/09/04 at 03:05 PM|
it has this whimisical tone to it...imagery is dazzling..
|Posted by Beth K Hannah on 01/28/04 at 03:04 AM|
the ending came as a suprise. Very good work here...imagery is wonderful.
|Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 02/24/04 at 12:53 PM|
Very effective writing Graeme. Superb use of the surprise ending with no hint of what was to come. Thanks again for your kudos on my Eulogy For A Poet.
|Posted by Quentin S Clingerman on 05/07/04 at 01:41 PM|
As I read this again I was still a bit shocked by the ending. It is just so unexpected!!! Unwanted, more to the point! LOL!
|Posted by Alison McKenzie on 05/13/04 at 09:18 PM|
Yikes. I didn't see it coming AT ALL. All the imagery right up to the line that slayed me....errrr, her.....Wow!!! Where are your other scorpions locked up?
|Posted by Morgan D Hafele on 02/15/05 at 11:58 AM|
wow. i love the ending twist. freaking amazing.
|Posted by Brett Shane on 04/26/05 at 07:44 AM|
that description put me in the room... with an ending i would have never expected.. awesome.
|Posted by Traci Mabats on 07/10/05 at 11:25 PM|
It's like Tom Duley by Poe or something. Chilly.