Friendships are meant to be a collaborative thing not one of those hey I'll get it go-fer things
Like one-sided conversations
or talking into a confessional
You're supposed to be there for each other
care for each other
laugh for each other
cry for each other

None of this "Hey, I suck at relationships, just tell me the words and I'll tell her and we'll all be ducky"
I'm not ducky
I'm Amber and I'm pissed
I'm a person and I've had it

Had it with lies
with frustration
with tears
with your pride puffed so far out no one can poke their way in

No more walls
I'm caged in
No more silence
what you haven't said is worse
No more me me me
the world revolves around everything solar
not you
No more me giving you taking
I'd like to try my hand at being you sometime

Friends or foes?
The difference doesn't seem so different now
as we drift away to distance shores
the ocean of tears and walls of ego
seperating our lives
crossing around and behind
in a bad dance
a tango gone wrong
a friendship gone awry

Why can't it be like it used to be?
When the challenges were fun
not spiteful
when sarcastic words spoken were in jest
not for real
when we said we cared for one another
and meant it
when I would take a bullet in the heart
if it meant he would live
and now
the bullet is lodged
and the hole in my heart has grown bigger
the wound is deeper
and I wonder why
and was it worth it?

06/24/2003

Posted on 06/25/2003
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