by Alastre Zidler

I dream of you
As a dying man
May dream
Of golden fields;

My hands
Are teardrops
Crying down
Bedroom walls


Posted on 05/17/2003
Copyright © 2019 Alastre Zidler

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Rommel Cruz on 05/17/03 at 01:03 AM

nice read. welcome to PPS

Posted by J. P. Davies on 05/17/03 at 08:27 AM

Welcome to Pathetic...:)

Posted by Ashok Sharda on 05/18/03 at 11:05 AM

Imaginative. Reflects the mood and the longing.

Posted by Melina Raven Maness Diebold on 05/20/03 at 05:38 AM

Welcome to pathetic! The hands/tears analogy is nice! Mina

Posted by John Ilotan on 05/23/03 at 04:01 AM

This is excellent writing. I like the short, clear and very vivid way it is expressed. Nice work.

Posted by Maryellen Lebeda-Parra on 12/06/03 at 09:18 PM

i too think that the "short" works well for this.

Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 04/21/09 at 08:17 PM

I love that last stanza - can see the hands coming/tearing/pulling down the walls with great emotion.

Return to the Previous Page

pathetic.org Version 7.3.2 May 2004 Terms and Conditions of Use 0 member(s) and 2 visitor(s) online
All works Copyright © 2019 their respective authors. Page Generated In 1 Second(s)