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(Unmaking a fairytale)The princess' knight in shining armor
by Rommel CruzHer blonde, wavy hair long turned into silver.
Perky bosom covered in warts and sagging.
Smooth, supple skin chapped and wrinkled.
Perfect white teeth yellowed and missing.
Hah! The once oh-so-fair princess alone and crying.
So many sailors, princes and knights
Adventured to find her. But many were lost,
Too proud and dumb to ask for directions.
Some were turned into frogs by her wicked stepmother.
Poor men. They remained as frogs when she eewed
And slammed the door, refusing to kiss them.
Others butchered ferocious fire-breathing dragons.
But she sent them away they have ugly scars,
Crippled legs, missing ears and broken fingers.
A lucky few survived the scorching desert.
But they were too thin, ribs poking their caked skins
And looked like impoverished carpet salesmen.
Three or four were mugged, their treasures
Taken away. She refused to marry any
Because they were too weak [and poor] to defend themselves.
And now, the once someday-my-prince-will-come-
Im-so-fair-somebody-save-me-now-maiden
Is asking why shes alone and miserable.
Its because those men, they were all dumb and stupid.
What were they thinking? Leaving wealth and comfort
Risking their lives to save the ungrateful bitch.
And yeah, the few tall, dark, handsome, well-built, rich, valiant,
Intelligent knights and princes [go ahead include even thieves]
Are now all living happily ever after with each other.
05/10/2003 Author's Note: Ever since I read Cristina Bruno's fairy tales, I've wanted to write one of my own.
Posted on 05/10/2003
Copyright © 2025 Rommel Cruz
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Rhyana Fisher on 05/10/03 at 03:19 PM excellent! oh i loved this. if you're ever in the mood to be amused, look for patricia wrede's dealing with dragons series of books. i highly recommend simon green's blue moon rising also. that one's a little more serious, but also amusing.
but...yes, this is fun. laughed hard reading about the frogs. |
| Posted by Charles J Hannan on 05/10/03 at 04:24 PM Rommel, this is great!...I love this fairy tale! |
| Posted by Anne Engelen on 05/10/03 at 04:41 PM OMG...you really did it "my favourite junk" turned into a priceless poet! Somebody pinch me and wake me up from this dream :P
(footnote to the reader: Flemish translation for "Rommel" = junk)
I love it buddy!!! |
| Posted by Agnes Eva on 05/10/03 at 05:27 PM heheh! really enjoyed this modern fairy tale and its message.. i was sad at first to see the princess in her introduced state but you convinced me she well deserved it by the end with so many funny points. great poem! |
| Posted by Amy Niggel on 05/10/03 at 06:27 PM This was great, a little bit more realistic take on the whole fairytale ending. |
| Posted by Britt Zimmerman on 05/12/03 at 03:02 AM ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hysterical! and well written! BRAVO I must take a stroll through christina bruno's fairy tales now too :) |
| Posted by Alex Smyth on 05/14/03 at 02:49 AM HaHa! Always interesting to see through the other side of the glass. Guess she made her own fate, and I certainly did not forsee the ending. No sense in waiting around for her cast offs! Great fun, this one.
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| Posted by Charles E Minshall on 05/14/03 at 04:30 AM Funtastic fairy tale Rommel.......Charlie |
| Posted by Christina Bruno on 05/14/03 at 02:13 PM I love it. Awesome. I love how you say that they were afraid to ask for directions. *Feels special to have inspired* |
| Posted by Kara Hayostek on 05/15/03 at 11:41 AM A girl can't marry just *anyone* you know...this is hilarious!! |
| Posted by Traci Mabats on 06/20/03 at 02:21 AM Oh this is just brilliant! Bravo! |
| Posted by Quentin S Clingerman on 06/25/03 at 01:37 PM LOL! Poking fun at the fairytale scene and maybe the selfish-think-they-are-beautiful-forever women they are about.
They are all right for kids (the original fairytales). In fairytales no one every grows old; they live happily everafter! ;) Fun reading. |
| Posted by Jeanne Marie Hoffman on 07/25/03 at 03:50 AM Ha! Reminds me of a monologue I once performed about this princess staring out a window, talking about how her prince is probably pining away for her and trying to find her. By the end, she is basically trying to re-convince herself that he really is looking and really does miss her |
| Posted by Cathlyn Cartier on 07/27/03 at 01:38 AM I love these "fractured fairy tales" as Sally calls them... and as Paul Harvey would say "... and that's the rest of the story"! Bravo! |
| Posted by Don Coffman on 08/23/03 at 05:53 AM This is wonderful. You really turned the old fairy tales around with a heavy dash of realism, both very amusing and a little sad. |
| Posted by Mary Ellen Smith on 06/30/04 at 02:28 AM Very very witty! Thanks for the laugh! |
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