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The Black Hole in Your Heart
by Cathlyn CartierYoure bitter and unhappy.
You punish others because of the trauma you inflict upon yourself:
Gratuitous sex,
Overindulgence in alcohol,
Consumption of illicit drugs,
None of these fill the empty hole in your heart.
You know that what you are doing is tearing you up physically,
and of no real benefit mentally or emotionally,
yet you continue down the path of self-destruction.
The path you have chosen for yourself.
Uncaring,
Unheeding of the warning signs,
of the pleas of your friends and family;
of the people that care.
Death is a solution, you boldly proclaim,
as if you are proud of the fact that you are killing yourself a little more with each passing day.
You bemoan the fact that you feel alone,
that youre tired of not having anyone there for you,
yet you use people up.
You siphon all of the positive and good out of them,
poison them with your indifference, and then toss them aside,
like yesterdays news,
and walk on down your self destructive path,
leaving them to flutter away forgotten,
as you journey on,
trying to fill the gaping hole in your heart and in your soul. 12/12/2002 Author's Note: Part I. This is the first of two (currently) poems that are related; the other poem being "A Modern Day Vampire". I've yet to decide on a folder name for them, or a subject heading. Suggestions are welcome.
Posted on 12/13/2002
Copyright © 2024 Cathlyn Cartier
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Kristine Briese on 12/13/02 at 05:13 PM Makes me think of Sexton's "The Addict": "Yes, I try to kill myself in small amounts, an innocuous occupation." Good piece of work, Cathlyn. |
| Posted by Christina Bruno on 12/13/02 at 07:36 PM wow this is so good, and so sad |
| Posted by JD Clay on 12/16/02 at 04:18 AM Wow! Powerful words that reveal a stark reality. Nicely scripted and filled with raw emotion Cathlyn. Peace... |
| Posted by Lori Johnson on 12/17/02 at 04:59 PM This MUST be closely personal. For that, I am sorry. It very painful to stand by idle & watch a self-destructive simply self destruct. Painfully descriptive, well done. :)
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| Posted by Rusty C Arquette on 12/17/02 at 07:07 PM My brother was 49 when he died of cirrosis of the liver complicated by cancer...he was gone in five months; not pretty - The person you've addressed in your piece could have been him...to the "T" - I have seen what you write of first hand...felt the frustration with not being able to get through to an inteligent thinking person, but at some point I had to just be there...it was hard...but no one every told me life would be easy - Very nice, Cathlyn - Thanks for sharing - RCat |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 04/19/03 at 01:26 PM Tough love observation well expressed. I'm sure there's lots out there like this who will hopefully see this poem as a mirror...and change. |
| Posted by Jeanne Marie Hoffman on 04/29/03 at 07:55 PM Wow, I've been reading through some of your poetry, and I have to say your imagery is amazing! With that said, I especially liked this one. Reminds me of someone I used to know... |
| Posted by Carl Walker on 06/04/03 at 11:36 AM "trying to fill the gaping hole" and yet they can't seem to have an intellectually honest conversation with those who love them. thank you for an honest piece of work |
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