by Ken Harnisch

Abner McGreedy, after beating up his wife

One drunken afternoon

Lurched out beyond his backyard

And was swallowed up in some black-green muckhole

Never  to be seen again.

They organized a search party;

Got lights and rope and grappling hooks;

Stood irresolute around the bubbling pit;

And smoked their cigarettes till dawn


The sighing cesspool stopped bubbling

Two weeks later, in the relentless sun.

Soon afterwards the muck turned into clay

Just before the whole plot was sold

To expand the Mega shopping mall next door.

Pilings were driven in the muddy stew;

Bulldozers plowed the ground,

Leaving canyons of rust and standing pools

Of brackish water

That drowned forever sad-sack bones.

Eventually, walls and windows rose

Over Abner McGreedy’s presumed to be

Final resting place


It took his wife six years to get the settlement

From New York Life, but once she did

She opened a pub there in the new mall.

Named it Abner’s Rest

And did very well for herself, I hear,

As a bartender-ette

Selling drinks with cute pastel umbrellas

That she called Sinkholes.

And on the jukebox, if you hit C-18

The Beatles sang

O bla-di, O bla-da

Life goes on…la!

Lolly-lolly, life goes on


Posted on 12/06/2002
Copyright © 2021 Ken Harnisch

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Kate Demeree on 12/06/02 at 10:38 PM

Laughing sooooo hard.. I can actually hear this one. Love IT! and yes... Thankfuly Life Goes On! I love the irony in this poem!

Posted by John Harder on 12/10/02 at 06:45 AM

i love poems that tell a story. very creative.

Posted by Anne Engelen on 12/11/02 at 08:13 AM

Very funny in a wicked way!

Posted by Lori Johnson on 12/11/02 at 08:58 PM

A side of you I had not previously known, thanks for the insight. Excellent humor, love it! :)

Posted by Rhyana Fisher on 03/14/03 at 03:32 PM

i absolutely love the irony woven through this writing. the snatch of song at the end definately provides the perfect conclusion. *goes off to see what other interesting things can be found here*

Posted by Rhodora M Fitzgerald on 03/31/03 at 03:52 PM

lol... This was a crafty piece! Not what I'm used to reading from you, but a very entertaining read Ken!

Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 02/21/10 at 05:06 AM

I'm enjoying browsing through some of your older ones I had not read. This is just hilarious, especially the ending, but also the very clever title and its timeless implications. Thanks!

Return to the Previous Page

pathetic.org Version 7.3.2 May 2004 Terms and Conditions of Use 0 member(s) and 2 visitor(s) online
All works Copyright © 2021 their respective authors. Page Generated In 0 Second(s)