Home    

clean as i want to be

by Ulyss Rubey

My wife said to me -
did you take a shower
this morning, Honey;
we have company coming soon.
I said no,
I'm as clean as I want to be,
My Dear. I bathed last night,
and won't be dirty again
till this afternoon.

Now why did she find this so funny-
I'm as serious as can be.
Last night I washed my ears and nose,
I even wiped between my toes.
I scrubbed my hands and hair,
and laved and scoured everything
adjacent, attached, adjoining,
and abutting my derriere.

She has a nerve, and I think
is being rather mean,
to imply or even suggest
I'm something short of clean.
Frankly, My Dear, I don't care
what they think of me.
I'll stay right here
in this chair,
I'm clean as I want to be.

01/12/2002

Posted on 01/12/2002
Copyright © 2021 Ulyss Rubey

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Indigo Tempesta on 07/04/03 at 04:31 AM

oh, ulyss, i love this!

Posted by Maureen Glaude on 07/09/04 at 11:16 AM

perfect timing. I had a little experience last night that could have hurt my feelings a lot more than I allowed it to, (not over showering, but hair, a comment from my mom inadvertently passed on to another relative) but I decided hey, if people want to say those things and concentrate on trivialities, I'm not going to let it get to me too much. I guess they mean well. Anyway, I loved your humorous reaction.

Posted by Charles E Minshall on 12/01/05 at 01:55 AM

Funtastic Uly....Charlie

Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 09/13/08 at 04:56 AM

Reminds me of my father in law - ha!! Very clever and enjoyable read.

Posted by Laura Doom on 01/28/12 at 11:31 AM

I fear she read your mind, and spoke metaphor to mock your sense of dysphoria :>)

Posted by Philip F De Pinto on 09/02/16 at 11:10 AM

Who says poetry should not aspire to be funny as can be? Not me. The last thing poetry needs is to lave it so it becomes overly serious.

Return to the Previous Page
 

pathetic.org Version 7.3.2 May 2004 Terms and Conditions of Use 0 member(s) and 2 visitor(s) online
All works Copyright © 2021 their respective authors. Page Generated In 0 Second(s)