changes
10/11/2011 03:49 p.m.

I quit smoking on July 4th, 2011 and my lips have not touched a cigarette since.
I joined the YMCA and attend classes, often they are held at 6am.
I run.
I've come to terms with my flaws. Well, most of them.
I laugh a lot.
I only spend time on things and with people I truly care about.
My nights are quiet.


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Brautigan
01/06/2009 04:39 a.m.

I am Trout Fishing in America.
I have gotten to the point at which I am terribly frightened of loving. I can love everyone, but the thought of loving someone is overwhelming. I worry that I have said it in the morning when we are not quite awake - mumbling things from that in between place.




I am listening to Terry Gross

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drunken text message
12/17/2008 04:05 a.m.

him: Hey, bep. I had beer. Bed empty. You nice. Waffles. Potatoes. You nice.

...he knows how much I love potatoes.
He's wonderful. And it terrifies me. But I know I don't need to worry, because he's so wonderful.


I am listening to winter mix I'm making for my tumblr secret santa

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relief
09/30/2008 08:06 p.m.

Plane tickets for Philadelphia/New York New Year's trip booked! I feel relieved just knowing that I'll be home and seeing all my favorite kittens in only three months. I'm also excited about spending my first New Year's in New York City. I lived so close for so long, but the attraction of Mummers on New Year's Day (which I call Mummer Day) kept my in Philadelphia. I'm sure I won't go see the ball drop, 'cause I don't like crowds or standing around in the cold, but I am sure that something magical will happen. Oh, and I might get to meet some of my NYC tumblr friends. Whoo and shit!

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holding my breath, hold my hand
08/26/2008 06:54 p.m.

I am going on a date tonight. My first in quite awhile. Dinner and a movie – we’re incredibly interesting folks. He’s so very lucky that I have someone else who wants to go see ‘Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2’, since he said it was my choice. We have tickets to see ‘Batman’ at the IMAX. I am hoping for hand-holding in the back row, or something like that.

I haven’t seen his face in almost two weeks.
He was laughing on the phone last night and I wanted to see his smile.
He makes me feel okay when I am nervous or say the most unbelievably stupid things.

I am afraid to say it. I don’t want to jinx it.
This feels like the beginning.

I am listening to the ring of unanswered phones

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just read...
07/05/2008 03:19 p.m.
We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.
— William Somerset Maugham

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still
07/05/2008 03:17 p.m.
At 6:55am this morning I missed him. I was having a dream about my teeth falling out and it woke me up. After all this time I still miss him. Terribly.

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Three Polish Men
05/01/2008 06:35 p.m.

I woke up to three loud Polish men this morning.

They are at my apartment to install a new heating system.

They will make sure I am warm next winter.


I am listening to the elevator

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future
04/18/2008 01:52 a.m.

I am officially a graduate student.

Yay me.

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love
03/24/2008 09:37 p.m.

"even if love were not what I wanted
love would make love the thing most desired"

Will Oldham knows what he's talkin'bout.
I am currently Romantic

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