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The Journal of Maria Terezia Ferencz

HAPPY HALLOWEEN
11/01/2006 02:03 p.m.
Hope everyone had a wonderful Halloween!!! I had fun!! If you never get taller than 5 foot 1 inch in my opinion you are still entitled to candy......so I got a whole big bucket when I went trick or treating..............

I am currently Bemused
I am listening to Dumb Bush (George) God isn't he out of office yet???

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where I am~where am I
10/28/2006 12:10 a.m.
I am in between........
the where and how
I know the where
but not the how
stuck within the time of now
I am currently Frustrated
I am listening to sighs

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Paducky
10/19/2006 01:35 a.m.
Poor Paducky slowly crawls back to the muddy waters from whence she came.....


I am currently Disillusioned
I am listening to baseball....yippee

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Floatie
10/18/2006 02:48 a.m.

I am currently Sad

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Happy Halloween
10/16/2006 10:08 p.m.

Where shadows are light.....
I love Halloween.
I am currently Crafty
I am listening to TV

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Am I nuts? Coincidence?
10/12/2006 12:42 a.m.
Just voted on a new member....did not see the thread until I read her comment on "Breathe" look at the family tree and see if you see what I see.......

Posted by Marie Andreas on 10/11/06 at 04:50 PM
This is fantastic! The entire poem reminds me of the early phase of love. In particular I liked the phrase "until all that's left of you of me are mere shells" . . . and the ending "so I can soar" tied it to a fresh and beautiful end. :)

weird........
I am currently Amazed
I am listening to rain

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Fairytales 8:14 pm
10/07/2006 12:09 a.m.
How about a fairytale about a princess (well not really a princess, just a regular girl), locked in a tower of the mind? One that is made of stones held together with guilt instead of mortar? Stones made of caring, from deep in the earth of her soul but mortared in with guilt instead of love?
Guarded by dragons that look more like dinosaurs, and act more like dogs, small dogs.....that are guardians for an ogre that is really a man, but acts more like an ogre. On a hill, by a lake, on a mountain somewhere in Ireland? Or more like NJ? Where the creatures of the sky are not really griffins at all and are really only crows. Where toads are still magical, as are the salamanders (these however die too easily), and crickets named George attack unknowing cots and Potato Bugs reign as King. This is not very exciting is it? Perhaps we need to throw in a Prince, who really isn't a Prince at all, maybe he is just a rather large Rooster? Yes--that's it a large yellow fluffy Rooster who likes to eat grapes and play with acorns. A special kind of Rooster though, a water rooster. Problem is Rooster can't fly (he can swim though), Princess is scared of heights and neither one likes endings. No mote to swim across in the mind, no ladder to climb down or up. Her hair is too short to drop down as a rope, and she dies not eat apples so we can't do the poison apple wake her up routine. Poison grape? Nah forget that.
Ok so what do we have so far, a Princess of Regularity, a Prince Rooster of the waterways, and a tower of the mind. Glued by guilt. Guarded by dragon dinosaurs who are guardians of an Ogre man. Hmmm. Does not sound like a fairytale at all.....Which means of course it has no ending yet......... which is a good thing cause the Rooster of Water does not like them....AT ALL. Poor Medio Pollito And there stands Medio Pollito to this day. And if you go to Madrid, and walk through the streets till you come to the highest church, you will see Medio Pollito perched on his one leg on the steeple, with his one wing drooping at his side, and gazing sadly out of his one eye over the town.
I am currently Detached
I am listening to WATER

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The Curse of Age
09/27/2006 06:33 p.m.
Today I find myself once again pondering the cruelty of aging. It is I suppose caused by a combination of visits I have made and the falling of the leaves....
I find myself in awe each time I look into the eyes of an elderly person and see the youth trapped inside. Am I the only one who sees it? I wonder. I see into the eyes of people too much I think. And when I see in them, it always bounces back and makes me turn within. Which is frightening to me, as I know one day I will be there. Where they are, still very much young in spirit but trapped like flies in a spiderweb of body that has walked the earth too long. What a torture it must be. I think that is why God has gifted us all with the tendency to forget ourselves and our surroundings in the lands of dementia. It is the only way to alleviate the suffering it seems. To send the spirit back to drink from the river of Lethe. Who would in that sitaution want to remember? Not I.
All of this of course causes me to hop on my favorite soap box, the useless grasping for immortality it seems all human beings are concerned with. Exactly what is the point of trying to extend ones life beyond the point of enjoyment. To be a hollowed out skull of a human with the light barely burning within? For what? So one can be trapped to ponder longer why you still remain behind when everyone you love has moved on into the next realm? For what? It seems to me the only answer is money, the same drive that motivates every heinous action of man. Useless slips of green paper that are in reality not good for much more than starting fires. Sometimes I try to imagine a world without money, a world where the things one needs to survive are not based on purchase. But based instead on kindness and caring. It is a hard thing to dream up. It twists my mind. Whoever created the idea of coin, should be cursed to walk in an eternal darkness of soul. The animals I think have a much finer life than we. Today is one of those days that I would rather not belong to humanity, I would rather be something more simple, like a dandelion. At least then when I went to seed, someone would blow me away in wishes and joy at my ending.
I am currently Brooding
I am listening to tick tick tick of a clock

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POTD WOO HOO!!!!
09/19/2006 05:06 p.m.
I am so happy happy happy today! I finally made it to a POTD. BIG HUGE THANK YOUS to site administrators for choosing one of my babies, and also to everyone who read and commented on my creations. Biggest thank you of all goes out to my inspiration for this inkling....my biggest and bestest fan, Csirke. Thank you for teaching me how to truly be touched and of course for teaching me how to dance like this
I am currently Festive
I am listening to da da da ta da ta da

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Dear Mom, I know you are reading
09/18/2006 02:19 p.m.
Dear Mom,
I rec'd a phone call from Frances yesterday and she said you are reading my journal. I told her you must need a new soap opera, as you are now watching mine. First of all, stop the incessant worrying. I know you are my mother, but please. I am not that sad. Fran tells me you go on and on about how you think I am so sad and you are worried about me. Do not worry, yes I may be sad at times, but that is normal. Perhaps not normal for big bad Maria, but normal for others no? So maybe I am growing one of those despicable organs commonly referred to as a heart. I have always had one for my family and friends, so I have decided (well maybe not intentionally) to grow one for myself. The downside of this is it will sometimes make one sad. Everything needs a bit of rain to grow, so if I am never sad my heart will of course die from a lack of tears. We would not want that to happen would we?
Tears....Something else big bad Maria is not supposed to do. So I guess I will be little pathetic Maria from now on?
But no, just to make it clear---I am not suicidal, I was never fond of heights so I will not go bridge diving...don't worry. Just because you are unused to me showing any emotions other than happiness or anger, do not think I am going insane. I am already insane I just happen to have brief dark moments of sanity. I am sorry but I will not tell you anymore than I already have, there are no cheat sheets for this soap opera so you will be forced to wait until the season finale just like me. Look on the bright side, you have always loved soap operas so now you have the best of both worlds, a real living breathing soap opera to look in on. You can anticipate each new episode while trying to guess what will happen next....and with any luck I can do all the neat soap opera things your friends on TV do, like rise from the dead 20 or so times, get amnesia sleep with my lover wake up with my brother, have a midget friend no one else can see, cast spells on unknowing enemies and watch as various parts of their bodies decay......well no, I probably will not be able to do those things. But for you I will try OK? Let's start with a certain Mr. Padgett, I am going to work on parts of his anatomy that will remain unnamed. So if you hear of an unpredicted bout of prostate cancer let's just say it was all part of the script.
Love,
Your ever loving although confused insane daughter
Newly pathetic Maria
I am currently Cute
I am listening to My sniffling mother he he he he

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