Dear Mom, I know you are reading
09/18/2006 02:19 p.m.
Dear Mom,
I rec'd a phone call from Frances yesterday and she said you are reading my journal. I told her you must need a new soap opera, as you are now watching mine. First of all, stop the incessant worrying. I know you are my mother, but please. I am not that sad. Fran tells me you go on and on about how you think I am so sad and you are worried about me. Do not worry, yes I may be sad at times, but that is normal. Perhaps not normal for big bad Maria, but normal for others no? So maybe I am growing one of those despicable organs commonly referred to as a heart. I have always had one for my family and friends, so I have decided (well maybe not intentionally) to grow one for myself. The downside of this is it will sometimes make one sad. Everything needs a bit of rain to grow, so if I am never sad my heart will of course die from a lack of tears. We would not want that to happen would we?
Tears....Something else big bad Maria is not supposed to do. So I guess I will be little pathetic Maria from now on?
But no, just to make it clear---I am not suicidal, I was never fond of heights so I will not go bridge diving...don't worry. Just because you are unused to me showing any emotions other than happiness or anger, do not think I am going insane. I am already insane I just happen to have brief dark moments of sanity. I am sorry but I will not tell you anymore than I already have, there are no cheat sheets for this soap opera so you will be forced to wait until the season finale just like me. Look on the bright side, you have always loved soap operas so now you have the best of both worlds, a real living breathing soap opera to look in on. You can anticipate each new episode while trying to guess what will happen next....and with any luck I can do all the neat soap opera things your friends on TV do, like rise from the dead 20 or so times, get amnesia sleep with my lover wake up with my brother, have a midget friend no one else can see, cast spells on unknowing enemies and watch as various parts of their bodies decay......well no, I probably will not be able to do those things. But for you I will try OK? Let's start with a certain Mr. Padgett, I am going to work on parts of his anatomy that will remain unnamed. So if you hear of an unpredicted bout of prostate cancer let's just say it was all part of the script.
Love,
Your ever loving although confused insane daughter
Newly pathetic Maria
I am currently Cute
I am listening to My sniffling mother he he he he