don't waste your breath on this.
03/24/2004 11:43 a.m.
i look over at him and i whisper
"i love this night"
and he tells me to be quiet
because he wants to kiss me.
I am currently Tired

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i'm not in love, i'm distracted,
03/24/2004 04:56 a.m.
i've waitedwaitedwaited
and it's comingcomingcoming
and the time between
is so
beautiful
isn't it?

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i'm always up too late and then i'm tired all day.
03/24/2004 03:45 a.m.
i need to be careful
the way i word my poems
or else everyone will know
all my secrets
and everyone will know
who i want to kiss

*

your subject changes are cute
but my honesty is cuter.

*

"we are made to fight
and fuck
and talk
and fight again" -ani difranco
I am currently Calm
I am listening to bach cello suites

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behind your doors.
03/22/2004 03:05 a.m.
i want to hear the sounds
your bedroom makes
i want to hear your bed creak
when i put my weight onto your mattress

*

all i want is my fingers
in your hair
all i want is your breath
on my lips
i'm afraid that patience
has grown old
I am currently Anxious

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there he is.
03/20/2004 08:49 a.m.
there he is -
the boy who has all the power to
change the things you say
to be so much worse
than what you meant
and all the power to
make you want to be his
until he's finished
with you
I am currently Lustful
I am listening to silence

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"B.F.F." means best friends forever.
03/19/2004 03:57 a.m.
i used to call you cute names
the kind with no real meaning but that rolled of the tongue
so nicely
my duckie mama
my loveface
and now names like that sound like
dirty words
now names like that
are what i cannot say

[but my mind still thinks of you the same way, love]
I am currently Quiet
I am listening to baroque music

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impressionable.
03/15/2004 05:23 a.m.
kisssssssssssssss
[ i love the sound of that word ]

*

i love to
make you beg.
please.
tell me more.
pretty please.
I am currently Lustful

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it's too early.
03/10/2004 11:45 a.m.
i need this.
i've waited for this.
now let me have it.

*

i know what to do for you to go crazy
about me
now just give me a chance to do it

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if we dared.
03/10/2004 01:10 a.m.
if you would let me tie my arms around your neck
i could breathe you in like a drug.
i could make you everything that you used to be
when my arms
and your neck
would meet more often.

imagine us
sharing oxygen under a sheet,
breathing into each other's mouths, and
our fingers in each other's hair or
our fingers touching cheeks;

we could be so much if we dared to try.

i believe that you are my morning
and i have lived on this planet long enough to know
that sunrise always comes.

*

i've lost myself in the optimism of thinking things like
a streelight is a full moon
I am listening to silence

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boys and tricks.
03/07/2004 11:56 p.m.
am i the only one who finds
disgustingly thin girls
in disgustingly small skirts
disgusting?

*

this is not meant to be poetic.
[ridiculous complaining] i am always rejected or thrown away for one reason or another. it's especially bad because it's by replacement and i really have no choice but to sit back and watch myself be replaced. i am so tired of boys and i'm tired of wasting energy on them. i am so tired of not being "enough." (god, i can't believe i'm talking about this. is it really that important? no. but maybe i'll feel better if i get it out.) i'm tired of things never working out. ever. i'm tired of watching the perfection around me. i hate that i so often feel incapeable of being happy for others. blah. ... you know, sometimes i think the reason i love the cello so much is because it's a fucking escape. [/ridiculous complaining]

*

i have met too many beautiful boys
who will put their lips
close enough to mine so that i can feel their breath
and then turn away

*

.. don't kiss me with that mouth ..
.. i know where it's been ..

*

i guess one always ends up being hurt
if they're only appreciated for their beauty
and smooth tongue.
I am currently Hurt

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