could never, should never
06/02/2004 01:25 a.m.
bat your eyelashes like you
don't know
e x a c t l y
what i'm thinking
or
exactly what i shouldn't say
bat your eyelashes like you're
one big walking tease of woman
that i could never, should never
have

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on the way upstairs.
05/31/2004 09:26 p.m.
walking up the stairs you
place your hands around the curves of my hips
(the bends and flesh, they're quivering)
and i say
"i hate it when you do this"
and you say
"no you don't"
...
i don't respond because we both know you're right

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mistakes.
05/30/2004 04:37 a.m.
i have made many mistakes in my life and loving you was not one of them.

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the car in spring.
05/06/2004 09:41 p.m.
my back against the
heat of the car door and
your hand on the ignition

now we will leave
now we will be the two women that exist only
as a secret
in the comfort of our own
perverse minds

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songbirds on sad mornings.
04/29/2004 01:32 a.m.
the birds are singing a sad song
for all these sad mornings

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daring women.
04/27/2004 11:27 p.m.
oh baby
i love you for being so
womanly
and i love me for being so
daring

so you and i
make two
daring women
I am currently Erotic

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what happens when you write poetry during class.
04/22/2004 09:41 p.m.
planted firmly on the ground
your feet, so entitled to this
and my heart, so crushed by this

i am promising myself to never fall in love
i am promising you the same

*

whisper vs rainstorm
sand vs ocean current
image vs reflection

*

tonight there's nothing left but wishes for a clean bed and a clean slate.

*

he stands, idle minded
emptying the hot change from his pockets
with those filthy
hands of his

and he's got nothing
to say to me
and not a penny
to offer me

i'm insensitive and i am only growing worse
my candied heart a rotten sweet
and your candied tongue, a new antagonistic plot
I am currently Bleh

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wilted flower; unfinished.
04/06/2004 04:41 a.m.
you never did a thing for me, girl.
looking back, i wish i hadn't wasted my time.

i swear if i had the chance to undo you
from that wasteland
i would, darling
but i'm one wilted flower in a fresh bouquet
and i believe that i can still bloom
for you

i don't trust you and i don't see why i should.

i'm such a mess underneath my polished outside
i wish i could take back all that i've done to you
and to us
but i'm the sunset shadow at your feet
and i will not dissapear until midday

i've really got nothing to say to you anymore.

and why should you?
i'm just a girl who had vowed to strength and dignity
and who is selling it all away to a single boy
who had showed her what love can be;
maybe i could just enslave you
maybe i won't give you a choice

i don't want to go back to that.
the good times, the bad times... they're all the same.
i don't need them.

your voice through the telephone line
is distorted like a story without an ending
like a case without evidence
and i'm exhaling into the mouthpiece wishing you
could hear my heartbeat

i'm just happy.
i'm just happy without you.
okay?

okay.
I am currently Reflective
I am listening to silence

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i wish not to miss you.
03/31/2004 03:47 a.m.
there is a boy
who i've known
so.closely
who i have loved
so.dearly
and who i miss
with every . ounce . of . my . heart
and i just wish
that he would let me hold him
and say
babybabybaby
we've missed each other for
tootootoo
long

*

one always needs to prepare
for the exact opposite
of what is possible.
i am living in irony.

*

i am distracting myself with
pretty faces and dirty words
but when i am alone at night
i explode under my sheets.

i miss you.
and i can't say that enough.
I am currently Blue

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my dreams are all teases.
03/28/2004 02:22 p.m.
last night i dreamt
that you said to me
"oh, honey,
i want to forget everything
that has gone wrong.
oh, darling,
i want to forget."
and so i cried
and so i screamed
and so i held you in my arms -
i awoke
and i did all but the last of those things
I am currently Sad

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