i want to write a poem.
07/05/2004 06:20 a.m.
i want to write a poem
that sounds like pulling your hairs from the scalp
and that sounds like your screaming
after a terrible nightmare
because i want to
make you feel all the hurt
that i go to sleep to

i want to write a poem
that makes you feel like your heart's internal bomb
has just exploded
and you are taken to another planet
on your rocketship of guilt

i want to write a poem
that makes you remember every time
you thought you were in love with me
and every time you told yourself
that you'd feel that forever

i want to write a poem
that for one moment makes you as miserable
as i am every day
without you

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next in line (how may i help you?).
07/04/2004 03:31 a.m.
next in line,
how may i help you?

he works at a coffee shop now
where he serves tons of pretty girls
pretty little cappiccinos
and smiles at them.
when he gets bored of one
he'll say
next in line,
how may i help you?
and then he'll smile like he always does

he's always gotta be the hero
righteous and honorable and entirely blameless,
he clears his throat to ask for his next helpless-girl-in-need
next in line,
how may i help you?

and i'm watching him now
from the crooked table in the corner
my lips to my coffee cup and my eyes
w a t c h i n g h i m m o v e
while his eyes twinkle
as he raises his voice over the morning rush

next in line,
how may i help you?
I am currently Melancholy

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tazoberry maybe.
06/27/2004 06:09 a.m.
you've been so many flavors to me
between your tazoberry maybe's, cherrybomb yes's
and all those tasteless no's

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a picture.
06/22/2004 02:15 a.m.
i looked at a picture of us
and you looked so happy
by my side, with our shoulders touching
and i brought the picture to my lips to kiss that
happy boy
but i remembered that he's somewhere else
and deep down
he isn't happy

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love.
06/21/2004 12:52 a.m.
there's so much love in the air and none of it's mine.

*

i don't let myself fall in love
but whenever i come close
love always makes sure to
smack me in the face.

*

love is
a smoker with a fresh cigarette
polluting all of those around him with his
thick smoke, and

love is
the slyest of misquitos
sucking blood from your shoulder and
making you itch, and

love is
a drunk husband
that you'll always come back to
beating after beating, and

love is
a pencil with a broken tip
and no eraser, and

love is
long hours on a friday or
bad breath in a first kiss, and

love is
a cheater
a hangnail
a sunburn
a rainy saturday
a break-up phone call

love is
everything that makes you miserable
and everything that keeps you going

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how he and me used to be.
06/20/2004 03:33 a.m.
something senimental, edited slightly:

me to he:
our current love ratio
is a thousand to three,
i've hugged you more times than you have
even looked at me.
but i don't mind because i know that
being held by you means more
when it happens less

all i ever do
is make myself laugh
and you hate me for that.
but sometimes, i love you
for hating me

all your clothes look better on you
than they ever could on me
but that's something we've both learned to laugh about

we'll stay up until 5am
untiloursentencesgetconnectedandjumbled

every day i hope a little more
that you won't hate me tomorrow
or give me one of those
"i'm-smiling-because-i-have-to" smiles

but whether we're talking in stupid lovesick voices
or pretending that we're "going steady"
i will always love you.

he: emily. that was the greatest thing in the fucking world.
me: haha, are you mocking me?
he: no, not at all. that was really really sweet... made me smile alot.
me: it took extra super heart. now i have like, a missing right ventricle... hahahaha!
he: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... i love you.


he to me:
with your satin ribbon interlocked between your satin fingers
and your "i-know-im-staring-into-space-and-i-really-think-they-believe-im-not-thinking-about-anything" kinda stares
and my "i-know-im-ripping-off-emily's-poetry-style" kinda lines
i still love you

with your passion fruit smile
that seems to come crashing down
after one second
you better know i still love you

and when i stare back
into your sunburst eyes
even when i dont want to go steady
you better always remember that i love you

me: that made me melt. i love youuuuu sooo much.
he: i love you soooo much too, emily.

I am currently Sad

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drumming on your lap.
06/15/2004 11:16 p.m.
i hate the way you're always
drumming on your lap
making some unsteady rhythm under your hands

the curve of your lip is formed like a heart
that's been stretched or pulled
and i think:
i could sleep in that mouth
(warm and tender)
and wrap myself in your tongue
(lush and promising)
and mornings i'd wake up
and twist it in knots so you could not say
that you don't like the taste of me

a powerful glance can speak volumes,
did you know?
oh, and did you know that i still miss you?
i'll watch you the grace of your curls - amongst your other graceful features
and wait for you to hear me
but it is only the sound of
drumming on your lap
the sound of palm meeting thigh

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your shoulders and other body parts.
06/07/2004 03:02 a.m.
your shoulders are broad and boundless
which is ironic because they could not bare the weight of boundless love
the curve of your lip is formed like a heart
that's been stretched or pulled
and i think:

i could sleep in that mouth
(warm and tender)
and wrap myself in your tongue
(lush and promising)
and morning's i'd wake up
and twist it in knots so you could not say
that you don't like the taste of me

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awake now?
06/07/2004 01:01 a.m.
i feel like someone woke up my heart from a really, really deep sleep.

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after nights.
06/06/2004 06:10 a.m.
tonight we're two mouths
orange lights and
long shadows

*

maybe i haven't told you before
but i think you're
j u s t a l i t t l e b i t
b . e . a . u . t . i . f . u . l
I am currently Peaceful

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