he doesn't get me, or poetry
02/12/2005 05:08 p.m.
"poetry!" he says, negatively,
with a smirk of disdain.
"do you wish i wrote poetry?"

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he doesn't get me
01/20/2005 03:40 a.m.
i feel like there's so much about me he doesn't get.

but will i ever find someone who really gets me?

i feel like maybe i had that. once.

so do i sit around waiting for that to come back or do i make do with what i have?

[ not a poem. ]

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cinderella
01/17/2005 06:59 a.m.
he exhales into my ear and says with broken breath
"i love the way you smell"
and he sinks his head into my chest, saying my name
(because he knows i like it)

and it feels nice to have him
under my arm
but i hate the way he looks at me
when it's time to go

i feel like cinderella because
at midnight, i have to leave
but he always reminds me that
i am a princess

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from secrets to pancake breakfasts
01/10/2005 04:42 a.m.
i had

a best friend

who would hold me tight when i cried
and hold me tighter when all was well

who encouraged me to do
everything that i've done right

who would listen to me through midnight and follow with
us falling asleep in her bed

who would sit behind a cup of coffee with me
while we laughed at how lonely we were

we said,
"one day, we'll find the boy of our dreams,
or one day, he'll find us"

my point is this:
i had a best friend who would share everything with me
from secrets to pancake breakfasts

until the boy of her dreams waltzed in
posed and poignant
and carried her off

sometimes i feel i've lost a part of her
to him
and sometimes i feel i'll wake up in her bed
and be alone

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chemistry?
01/03/2005 04:15 a.m.
i learned in chemistry class that
"cold" has no energy, that it is just a lack of heat
and that warmth can transfer to cold, but not vice versa

and under your sheets i'd like to stay in the warmth
we've created
because there is so much cold out there
that i fear i'd lose our heat to

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he's always leaving/slipping
12/29/2004 05:55 a.m.
he's the type of man who's
always leaving
but not leaving behind a trace of his memory
only his furniture
that he had no time to take

*

when we kiss
you breathe me in like this could be your last breath
and you hold me as though
i'm slipping away

but i want you to know
there's no need to hold me this tightly
for now, i am here
for now, i am your's

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new year
12/18/2004 12:29 a.m.
last new year's eve didn't have champagne
or anything fancy;
we just had our bodies, our smiles, and
my careless tongue

and with it i said
everything that brought the end of us

at 11:59pm our night settled into the dust on the couch and
you looked at me like you wanted to say something but
i told myself i didn't want to hear "i love you" tonight
for the fifth time,
i told myself i didn't want to
hear it

and so you watched me with those eyes past 12:00am and i
spat words at you that i shouldn't have said, i acted
as though i didn't want to make you happy and i didn't love you, too
[ but the truth is, i did ]

i remember you calling me up on january 1st,
"happy 2004.
i don't need you anymore."

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.....
12/17/2004 02:59 a.m.
when i get really upset, i think of him. and i think of how happy i was when he was around.

i get in the worst state of mind when i feel like i'm losing touch with my friends. and as much as i can cry over him, i feel the worst when i feel like i don't have my friends by my side completely. the idea of losing the people close to me is the scariest, most horrible feeling on the planet.

i just want to feel safe, and i don't know how i can feel like that right now. i just want someone that i can call home.

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make me make you
12/11/2004 05:33 a.m.


"i like your hair cut," he said,
his hands tight in his pockets and his shoulders hunched
the way he used to compliment me in hopes he'd make me
fall in love with him, but now words like these only make me
miss him in ways i could have never fathomed in the deepest of my
dreams (the ones i forget by morning)

and, wow

words like your's seem to put an
anchor on my heart
as stupid as this sounds: i miss you;
and you make me wish i could make you
feel the way you used to

*

[total word disaster.]

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crooked feet
12/01/2004 11:40 p.m.
i'm in love with a boy
who has crooked feet
a straight smile
curly hair
and eyes to kill

and i miss the days when
those feet, that smile, that hair
were all mine
to grasp and touch and kiss

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