in love is nice
06/28/2005 02:56 a.m.
i don't think he cares
that i write poems about him
or that i think of a thousand pretty ways
to say
i love him

but i'm in love with him anyway

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suggestion box
06/09/2005 01:47 a.m.
lately i haven't been
exactly who i'd like to be
and i'm writing to ask if you
have any little pieces of paper you'd like to
drop into my suggestion box

i could be anyone
beneath your paintbrush

i have dreams that everything in your life
goes wrong and somehow
it's my fault

so i wake up thinking
that i'm not who i should be

i invite you to
correct me with your red pen

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vindictive
05/27/2005 09:27 p.m.
"don't be vindictive,"
she says
like i'm some blood-thirsty
fire-breathing bitch
just waiting to sink my teeth into some
poor innocent damsel

i roll my eyes and say,
"no, honey,
i'm real."

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is it wrong...
05/08/2005 09:35 p.m.
is it wrong that i don't write poems about him?

because normally
i write when i'm miserable
and when i can't cry
anymore

but he

he's good to me;
loves me
genuinely

i don't trust boys with blue eyes anymore
because all of them lusted me
lied to me
and left me

he's got eyes like
black coffee
or
tree bark
or
cinnamon

and i've never trusted anyone
like i trust him

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the waves came to a crash
04/25/2005 02:42 a.m.
it was a windy morning

she came to me, hands in her pockets
(the breeze from the ocean weaved through her hair
and i thought:
she's beautiful, but)
i knew by her stance that something was wrong

the sand was cold
the shells were sharp
my feet were bare

"we need to be alone," she said
as i covered the sun from my eyes
and the waves grew
"i don't like what's been said"
and the waves came closer to shore
"everything feels wrong now"
and the sand moved towards the water
"i'm sorry, but you aren't anything to me"
and the waves came to a crash

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losing one by one
04/04/2005 04:48 a.m.
i can't believe she'd do this to me.

i keep losing people.

i want to scream.

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baby voice
03/28/2005 06:46 a.m.
my boy:
tough
and scary,
calls me up
and talks in a
baby voice;
"i miss you,
honey,"
he says

i think it's sweet.

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how beautiful
03/06/2005 05:49 a.m.
i'm thinking of how beautiful
you look in candle light
and how the shadows make your lips pronounced
as you tell me that you
wish you could stay through the morning

*

my boyfriend is beautiful.

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begging me to stay
03/01/2005 02:24 a.m.
it's funny now,
now that we're just friends,
that you're begging me to stay;

"don't leave me all by myself,"
you say, not because you need me,
but because you need that consistent sensation of
having someone near you

oh, you are so weak!

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every boy who i have ever loved...
02/18/2005 03:25 a.m.
we're at that awkward stage of
"i'm done being mad at you
but we can't be good friends"
so we talk about our lives
and laugh, casually, politelly

you say my new boyfriend sounds boring
with thickness enuniciating every syllable:
"he sounds so bland."
i'd like to punch you in the center of your
crooked nose
and say,
"i knew this really interesting boy who i loved and
who loved me
but he decided to fuck me over."

instead i say,
"every boy
who i have ever loved
has left me.
and maybe this boy
is not perfect
but i trust that he won't leave me
like the others
(like you) did."

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