Job News
02/26/2004 09:05 p.m.
Well I got an email yesterday after slaving and waiting for information on a job interview last week. It turns out that my recruiter said I am the final candidate and that they are waiting from the HR department that I applied for to send an offer. The email also stated I should inform my supervisor. I'm so psyched about it. I finally get a chance to get promoted out of my job into another. No more mail for me. Only pipe dreams and music.
I am currently Anxious

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Mondays
02/23/2004 05:17 p.m.
Ugh today is Monday again. It's like Groundhog Day the movie for me. Everyday I wake up and do the same chores. Anyways today I find out either I did nor did not get the job. I doubt I got it even though the guy said *clears his voice* "I don't think I have to look any further. You are definitely qualified for the position. I just have to talk to my supervisor and your recruitor that I met with you." I went to church yesterday. I guess to quote Lisa Simpson "Prayer the last thing for a desperate person." I just prayed that I could accept the rejection and not fall into regret and self depreccation. Ugh I'm pathetic.
I am currently Depressed

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Pain
02/15/2004 07:50 a.m.
The day is almost over and this stupid holiday is over. I'm glade that I'm drunk cause I hate this day. I hate the fact that I'm pathetic. I'm such a loser, and I know now that love sucks. I'm the victim of a choice. Love isn't disease or a bug, but a choice. A choice to be in love. I hate it. I hate the fact that people can make you a victim. I tried to cut my arm to feel the warmth to ignore the pain. I couldn't do it. Love like life is full of disappointments. I would rather end it then to say the four letter word again. I mentally blocked my past so I have to only remember people as how I would associate them. Cause all my past is filled with broken relationships and failed hopes. So people will be associate with short memories of them. I'm drunk.d

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Over
02/11/2004 11:35 p.m.
Well I think I have gotten to the point where I can keep up the beat with the metronome. Lately I have been getting frustrated with my job. I feel that every choice I make is the wrong one. Thank goodness for a three day weekend. I might actually learn some Bar chords this week. If I can impress my teacher with my ability to strum too the metronome. He says I'm learning quickly. All I feel is that this is one step to writing some sad songs. I listened to an old punk band I used to like. Still like them, and maybe I'll make my guitar sound similiar to them. I wish today would just be over.
I am currently Apathetic

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Acoustic Pandemonium
01/29/2004 05:01 p.m.
So my worst nightmare about my guitar has come true. The one that I have currently is to tough to play. My teacher tells me to buy a new one cause the difficulty of playing the guitar will only lead to bloody fingers. I mean I'm all for the dedication to my music, but bleeding everywhere or shaking hands and all of a sudden *pop*. Ewww. Anyways so we are going to look around for a guitar. I still have to practice on my old one. Which I have one hour of practice by myself tonight. My teacher thinks I'm really dedicated cause I experiement and teach him new things as well. Man this artistic high sure lasts a long time.
I am currently Fine

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Warpes and Guitars
01/26/2004 05:48 p.m.
Ugh so frustrated. It turns out the guitar that my sister gave me for Christmas, which was a hand me down has warped fret board. Thus making the action really high on the guitar. Pretty it makes it difficult to play because the strings are raised up more then normal from the guitar. I went to get it repaired and the guy told me that I better just buy a new guitar. So I shopped around, but Chris don't know diddly about guitars. All he can do is play a couple chords and say "Hey that sounds awesome"*scribbles the notes down*. UGHHHH
I am currently Frustrated

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Over Epiphany
01/23/2004 10:00 p.m.
For a moment I grew disgusted at myself? For a few moments I thought about all the people I wronged especially her? For a moment I thought she is the caues of all my views on how women are askew. For a moment I thought I could just live without the joy. I know now that it was her, but me that did this to me. I think I'll be a better man now and just walk away from it all. I think I understand a little more about me if I could just let it go. It isn't easy to let the past go. Cause the best moments are alway in the past tense, and the possible future gets us all eager to worry. So I guess I'll just forget about her. Let her die my past, and go on. A moment of her was like a drug, and now it's over.
I am currently Awestruck

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Creative Darkness
01/06/2004 12:58 a.m.
This may be very stupid, but I can't wait for this weekend. I have my first guitar lesson from a teacher who is parted of a signed band. Of course he charges more then I would like but hey it is worth it if I can play some songs that releases some creative part of me. I have this one song I want to write to a friend I hurt on my way to growing up. I think I'll dedicate it to her if they find my rotten corpse with some sheet music. I also need to get a hair cut this weekend. Going to stop by my barber and get a nice cut. Tomorrow I turn a script into a friend of mine to read. Man this month is a month of things to do for a creative mind. Maybe I can write lyrics to go with my movies. Maybe I can make people cry with visials and poetry.
I am currently Amazed

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A Natural Frown
12/17/2003 10:31 p.m.
What is with a natural frown that makes people think that I am sad? I frown but not on purpose rather because that is the shape of my mouth. I can't stop thinking about the past because those were the happiest moment in my life. Why do people regret, I guess it is due to the nostalgia of the past. We all want to hold on to the happy moments. Those moments that make us smile yet makes us frown when they are gone. I wish that things would just freeze for a moment. I wish I could just turn the ocean of time to a big skate park. So I can enjoy the good parts and not the bad. If only I could.
I am currently Nostalgic

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Lyrics of the Ghost of Me and You
12/16/2003 12:14 a.m.
I've been down
wandering past 2nd street
and looking at the ghosts
of you and me and thinking back on
all those memories of how we used to be

I've been hearing
hear those voices
of the noises of the breaking glass
and all those plans we had to get us through
they're never coming true

And I hope and hope
that you won't forget
and I hope you, hope you know
that I can clearly see

The ghosts of you and me
'cause I'm just a long-gone memory
and you're still alive
and I'm still getting by
on these dead end streets
the ghosts of you and me

I'm still talking
talk of what we'll do
to the ghosts of me and you
and I'm still looking back into the past
when we were all we had

And I hope and hope
that you won't forget
and I hope you, hope you know
that I can clearly see

[Chorus]
the ghosts of you and me [x2]

Hope you won't forget
hope you know that I'll always regret
those things I said
hope you know that I can clearly see

[Chorus]
the ghosts of you and me [x3]

Yeah


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