Ideals and Misery.
06/05/2005 08:30 a.m.
How is are we to write our thoughts when the grapes flows through the veins of my essence. I don't remember you that well. I wish I did, but even my mind slips as I try to forget each pieces of my misery in you. You made me dream of happy endings but I'm drinking and thinking about how you completed me. I tossed you away like my own regret. Please don't forget me please don't let me go. I want to be with you but I can't unless you let me. I remember your hair, and all I want is your forgivness. I want that redemption. Please forgive me. Forgive me. I beg you. Have pity. PLEASE!!!

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Don't Get Around Here Anymore
11/03/2004 07:09 p.m.
Sorry I haven't written in the journal for a while. If you want to read my day to day boring to boring life read my livejournal. As for today I really don't know what to expect out of chaos, but order sounds like a dream.
I am currently Blue

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A day
09/28/2004 05:54 a.m.
I feel so special. My poem didn't make poem of the day but it is a new work and it made most voted poem. Who would have thought a poem of dark nature would make it up there. Well the poem "Suicide Thoughts" came to me when I was thinking about it. I get taunted about, but now I have just let go. So there is nothing to think about living or being the quick. Isn't it weird that you write the oddest things that can be remembered, and yet when you try to do it again it escapes? Very odd indeed.
I am currently Bemused

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Thanks
09/09/2004 05:39 p.m.
Thank you all who read and voted. Thank you guys who didn't know me and stumbled onto me for the first time. Maybe now you can see that I am not a name in a sea of faces. Maybe today I'll some how move you, and then make you think about the world from another view point. Maybe I can influence you to see the world a little darker with a pair of shades made by me. Or maybe you'll just ignore and curse at me saying "That lucky punk got a lot of friends on here." Either case thanks for noticng me for a moment or a second or a milisecond of your day.
I am currently Calm

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Underground price stamp
07/26/2004 11:16 p.m.
A lot of people try to label each other and place them in categories of music and clothing. Yet my music is so ecclectic that I doubt that I would fully be accepted in one category. My friends are motley crew of degenerates and dreamers, yet I would never ask them to alter their beings to fit my ideals. The saddest thing is that many claim I have the attitude of goth and some the sadness of Emo. The fact is I am neither. I like hard core punk, ska, wee touch of the alternative, big band music, and jazz okay and some waltz dark music. Yet I would never try to categorize myself even though I like girls in tight black and plade skirt outfits that are worn by punks and goths. Yet I wander away from such dark creatures cause they would rather shun me then accept me. They would rather judge me cause I dare not wear clothing from Hot Topics. I do not know when anybody sold out but there is a price tag on every misfit group that stumbles out of the short lived underground.
I am currently Bleh

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I'm Sorry
06/14/2004 04:16 p.m.
Justice can be seen in my eyes.
Everyday in and out I think about you.
Simply cause I walked out of your life.
Slowly I try to forget about you.
Isn't it odd how we try to think of excuses.
Cause we want to see if we could possible fix the past.
All I can do is think about you and try not to forget.

I am currently Brooding

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Waiting
04/20/2004 07:48 p.m.
Ugh waiting is the hardest part. I waiting for my new guitar to come from Gibson. I called the guitar store I ordered it from. Still waiting on the status. Gibson is hopefully done making it. It has been two weeks since I ordered. Two weeks. I want my hands to touch the black velvet body. I want to burn a riff off her neck. Ugh waiting is the hardest part.

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Thinking
04/08/2004 04:22 p.m.
I want to write lyrics cause I'm taking guitar lessons. I want to write lyrics for the sadest song that lingers in my mind. Lately it's coming off blah. All I got is "I'm here do you see me lingering in the shadows. Do you see me when I bleed. My fingers slip as I try to take pieces of you out of my heart. Do you see me when I walk alone without you." Ugh sounds lame. Anyways*sighs*
I am currently Blue

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I'm a Poem of the Day
03/26/2004 03:52 p.m.
How odd is that? I mean I thought most of my poems were horrid little monsters that I wanted to sweep under my bed. Wow but a majority of you guys thought that my poem was worth it. Thanks to everybody. Thanks for reading my poem. It just shows that a lot of people read my poem. I always thought I was just a face in the Pathetic crowd, but I guess I was wrong. THanks for reading my work.

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Job
03/01/2004 08:09 a.m.
Well if I haven't called ya to tell you. I just gave my two weeks notice to my old job. I just got the news Friday that I was extended the offer for a new job. I'm out of there in two weeks. Things are looking up, but low and behold friends I am still the cynical pessmistic fool.
I am currently Happy

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