circles
04/13/2004 05:54 a.m.

"we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl---------year after year" (pink floyd)...

yes, that's what we are

i know, he's tired and sick

and i'm sick and tired

the circles are burning holes right to the center of a cracked core

how i wish you were "here"

where's the damn manual?

home is where the heart grows fonder?
04/05/2004 06:51 a.m.

one night in san jose: worth every bump in the road

one look at my precious daughter after one night in san jose: worth a million bucks

one big huge pointless fucked-up herewegoagain argument ending with laughter in my face after one night in san jose: priceless

welcome home.

going to San Jose
04/03/2004 07:46 a.m.

in about 3 and a half hours, i'm going to journey North for the weekend... it is bittersweet, as was not the original plan (going North was, just different destination)... but i am so looking forward to seeing Sissy...

gothic burning party whoo hoo :)

april fool's day is no joke
04/02/2004 02:44 a.m.

it has been 6 years since she left this life... i so miss you Grandma... but thank you for the strength you gave me to leave a life that was killing me... now, can you help me with the next part?... ahahaha

i'm sending irish blessings above... dear dear mary ann...

love you forever
03/28/2004 12:02 a.m.

"love you forever" by Robert Munsch... read it... to your child, or yourself... i swear you will cry... and you will cry well...

sentimental... yes, i am

psychosis
03/26/2004 03:14 p.m.
they say referring to oneself in the third person is a sign of psychosis
I am currently Detached
I am listening to the voices... yes, really

Comments (1)

Concrete Blonde...song lyrics for a sad evening...
03/26/2004 06:46 a.m.

i truly love this band... saw them in December at the Whisky in Hollyweird, for the third time... that woman can sing... and her lyrics cut through to my very soul... these songs lyrics are surreally fitting, right at this precise moment... and this song is incredible to hear...

Why Don't You See Me? 

(J. Napolitano)
When you lay down,
Do you hear sounds?
Does the silence have a voice?
What does it say?
What do you hear?
What does it whisper in your ear?
Why don't you hear me?
Why don't you hear me?
When you get up,
into the light,
When you come up out of your night,
What do you see?
And do you see?
Or have you lost your sense of sight?
Why don't you see me?
Why don't you see me?
Why don't you see me?
Why don't you see me?
What do you think?
What do you feel?
'Cause this is feeling very real.
And if you feel,
Why can't you say?
Give me a little demonstration.
Can't you feel me?
Why don't you feel me?
Why don't you feel me?
Why don't you feel me?
Are you in love?
Are you in pain?
Are they together and the same?
Where do you go?
Who do you know?
Are you that lonely ghost on the side?
Why don't you see me?
Why don't you see me?
Why don't you feel me?
Why don't you feel me?
Why can't you hear me?
Why can't you hear me?
Why don't you see me?
Why don't you see me?

Question
03/24/2004 09:21 p.m.

next song... "Question" by the Moody Blues... my mother actually dedicated this song to me when i was a small child because i asked so many questions and was so sensitive about life and people's feelings... little did she know how well this song actually fit...

Question

Why do we never get an answer
When we're knocking at the door
With a thousand million questions
About hate and death and war?
'Cos when we stop and look around us,
There is nothing that we need,
In a world of persecution that is burning in its greed.

Why do we never get an answer
When we're knocking at the door
Because the truth is hard to swallow
That's what the war of love is for.

It's not the way that you say it
When you do those things to me
It's more the way that you mean it
When you tell me what will be.

And when you stop and think about it
You won't believe it's true
That all the love you've been giving
Has all been meant for you.

I'm looking for someone to change my life,
I'm looking for a miracle in my life,
And if you could see what it's done to me,
To lose the love I knew
Could safely lead me through.

Between the silence of the mountains,
And the crashing of the sea,
There lies a land I once lived in,
And she's waiting there for me,
But in the grey of the morning,
My mind becomes confused,
Between the dead and the sleeping,
And the road that I must chose.

I'm looking for someone to change my life,
I'm looking for a miracle in my life,
And if you could see what it's done to me,
To lose the love I knew
Could safely lead me to,
The land that I once knew,
To learn as we grow old,
The secrets of our soul.

It's not the way that you say it
When you do those things to me,
It's more the way you really mean it
When you tell me what will be. 

Why do we never get an answer
When we're knocking at the door
With a thousand million questions
About hate and death and war?
'Cos when we stop and look around us,
There is nothing that we need,
In a world of persecution that is burning in its greed.

Why do we never get an answer
When we're knocking at the door
Because the truth is hard to swallow
That's what the war of love is for.

One Hundred Years
03/23/2004 08:00 a.m.

ok, here is a song from my absolute most favourite band in the universe (i will probably have to post several of their songs, as it is very difficult to choose...): the Cure... this band almost single-handedly helped me survive my teenage years... and this is no joke... this song is off their best album (in my opinion), Pornography...

One Hundred Years

It doesn't matter if we all die
Ambition in the back of a black car
In a high building there is so much to do
Going home time
A story on the radio...

Something small falls out of your mouth
And we laugh
A prayer for something better
A prayer
For something better
Please love me
Meet my mother...
But the fear takes hold
Creeping up the stairs in the dark
Waiting for the death blow

Stroking your hair as the patriots are shot
Fighting for freedom on the television
Sharing the world with slaughtered pigs
Have we got everything?
She struggles to get away...

The pain
And the creeping feeling
A little black haired girl
Waiting for Saturday
The death of her father pushing her
Pushing her white face into the mirror
Aching inside me
And turn me round
Just like the old days
Just like the old days

Caressing an old man
And painting a lifeless face
Just a piece of new meat in a clean room
The soldiers close in under a yellow moon
All shadows and deliverance
Under a black flag
A hundred years of blood
Crimson
The ribbon tightens round my throat
I open my mouth
And my head bursts open
A sound like a tiger thrashing in the water
Thrashing in the water
Over and over
We die one after the other
Over and over
We die one after the other after the other...

It feels like a hundred years
One hundred years...

out of the mouths
03/23/2004 07:36 a.m.

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