my cryptic mind...
03/22/2004 09:55 p.m.
you know... i'm having a really tough time... why does inspiration come from the most unlikely source... why do birds sing, yet no song blows through my room... sleep sleep sleep... rest rest rest... i'm an insomniac with no cause... possibly just a little too much damage has been done, to repair the past 5 years... maybe not... read into me all you want... think it's funny?... i'm not laughing...
I am currently Bothered
I am listening to tick tock tick tock the clock fall off the wall

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the wrath shall ensue
03/19/2004 09:01 p.m.

ok, i had to walk out of work today... don't ever let them see you cry... that bitch just doesn't get it, but she will... nice, sweet, kind michele is about to open a can of whip-ass all over the damn place... i'm so sick of being the mature adult person in various situations... i don't want to conform... i know my rights, and at the sweatshop i work for, they are being violated... i just hope i can get a formal complaint off before i take my boot and shove it sideways up the walking balloon's ass... vulgar, sure, but you come work with this woman, and you tell me what you think after a few days... i guarantee the meekest and mildest of you would be tearing your hair out... andi, you rock for getting out... i'm on my way...

blah...

(by the way, iknowiknowiknowiknowiknowiknow i am supposed to be turning these "somebodies" into "nobodies"... and i will, but some days, it's a lot easier to write a poem about it then to incorporate the philosophy to real life... have patience with me, ashok... :)...)

twisted bedtime stories
03/19/2004 07:44 a.m.
tonight, for the third time in the last couple of months, audrey brought me "the Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy & Other Stories" by the incredible Tim Burton... it's a collection of small poems about "gruesomely sympathetic children"... needless to say, they are far from children's tales... but are not TOO bad... so read i do... bonus for me, i love this damn little twisted book... i suggest it to anyone... at the very least, you'll be amused by the drawings... it also has a hidden bonus meaning... to look beyond the outer image, to what lies within...
I am currently Detached
I am listening to nothing, zero, zip... oh, my heart beat...

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Days
03/18/2004 09:22 a.m.

something has been missing from me on this site... and the other day, i figured out it was the incorporation of musick... musick is a form of poetry, right?... so, i think each week, or maybe twice a week, i'm going to utilize this journal to post the lyrics to a favorite song of mine by a favorite singer... tonight... none other than my absolute favorite solo artist, David Bowie... i have seen him three times (which isn't bad for being younger)... his newest album came out a few months ago, and when i heard this song, i literally cried... i stared at my husband and said "thank you"... it's called "Days"... and to hear it... well, you'd understand... these lyrics could be applied to several people...

Days

a reflective day...
03/18/2004 03:43 a.m.

my daughter and i fed the leprechauns and she promptly went to sleep... rob will be home late... i am here, with my thoughts... and my demons... and i wish she was here... the one who understood... who knew... who i was cut from... but she is with the fairies now...

damaradeaella... i miss you... i miss you and honour you and wish i was up there dancing with you... but at least your feet work now and no more pains and sadness... and i remember you in my soul and my heart... and one day, i will go home, to the old country... and find you waiting there, amongst the four-leaf clovers... rolling around like a young lass again...

sorry to put this here... i guess i put all the other emotions here, in my poems, so what the hell...

St. Patrick's Day
03/17/2004 02:04 p.m.
i honour my Grandmother, Mary Ann... may she be at peace and dancing with leprechauns today...
I am currently Reflective
I am listening to Merlin meow... and the birds...

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the North Star
03/15/2004 10:11 a.m.

we went outside to look at the stars tonight... aud said, "look, it's the North Star!!!... do you know what the North Star is?"... we said, "what, baby"... she said, "if you are ever lost, just look for the North Star and you will find you're way home"...

i did not teach her that...

my beautifully funny wierd little child...

a piece of me
03/13/2004 10:34 a.m.

this was originally posted as a poem... i deleted it and don't feel like putting it up in my library... but it belongs somewhere (i'm learning this... from a friend)...

here's a little piece of me... unrefined and written on a whim... but still, a little piece of me...



i was once a young woman, fifteen
inside of my head i could scream
nothing seemed quite right
my soul filled with fright
and then i turned sixteen

clubbing came natural to me
writing poems helped me be free
no food on the table
even though mother was able
that's when i decided to flee

seventeen brought the "love of my life"
he used me and filled me with strife
left out in the cold
teenagers are bold
my heart was bled with a knife

"adulthood" came at eighteen
drugs were galore at the scene
pass out when i'm able
hang my neck with a cable
serve my country, if that's what you mean

nineteen brought me more trouble
writing faded away like a bubble
grew up, got a house
learned to live like a mouse
i became a slave on the double

fast forward to this image of me
eight years of no writing to see
something clicked in the abyss
no more hit and miss
once again i live to be free

to be continued...

2-14-03

i'm addicted
03/13/2004 07:38 a.m.

ok, typically i loathe television... however, it is now no longer an issue i can avoid: i am thoroughly and completely addicted to Stargate SG-1... Colonel O'Neal cracks me up... Tielk just rocks... Captain Carter is so damn anal and precise it's entertaining and Dr. Jackson, well, i only wish i knew as many languages as he... i need an intervention... i could watch episode after episode for days, sans showering and eating, probably... and the worst part of it is the fact that it's not even that brilliant, yet, i love it... i crave it... i need it... i just watched three episodes in a row...

ahahahahahahaha

why can't we just pay for the Sci-Fi channel and toss the rest?

cleaning house
03/12/2004 10:11 p.m.

no work... no people... no nothing...

just me and this bitchen' surround sound system i've had for two years and have yet to break in... i hope my neighbors like "dear prudence"...

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