The more we are awareÂ…:July 5, 2006
10/14/2006 03:59 a.m.







'I am more aware, more in control when I am awake' my dear friend said in response to my query as regards her sleep.

Yes, I thought, but how would the 'sleep walkers' realize that they are asleep, controlled by the laws.

The more we are aware, the more we realize our sleepy state of being, the more we are in control.


I am currently Reflective

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I Practice a State of Thoughtlessness
09/04/2006 05:27 p.m.

August 5th,2006

As a very important part of my practice, from A to A, I decided to focus on undoing mechanical thought processes in my endeavor to attain a state of complete thoughtlessness. It's not a blank state of mind nor do I want it to be passive. It is an active thoughtlessness wherein the 'sensing' intensifies four times and so does the intake of energies which shall refine with the continued 'shock' provided by NOTIME.

What am I without refined energies? A chained pet of mother nature?

A state of thoughtlessness is a state of timelessness because it's mainly the thoughts that keep us stuck to a linear time. In the absence of Time we are in NOTIME in the region of awareness at large, the one and the only known source of refined energies. With all our SENSING intact and AWARE, the state of thoughtlessness transports us to this region, linking our awareness with the AWARENESS AT LARGE. KNOWING is what emerges wordless with a sense of confidence and a belief that we were always in the know. The quality of KNOWING is proportionate to the quantum and quality of energies which is proportionate to the quality of BEING. One can SEE this either way…

…but with a minor deviation. Instead of focusing on the action I shall now concentrate on undoing the negations in the course of my intended action, as the path from one action to another is so full of undesired happenings. I ought to UNDO these happenings, which include 'sticking up', lethargy, distractions, mechanical thinking, daydreaming, and reacting to external stimuli.

I am in the course of an ACTION and there manifests a desire to sit whereas I have no purpose in sitting. I am not tired and I am wondering, “why do I want to sit?” This undoing of sitting wasn't enough as I see myself walking into my living room deviating from the intended action. “Why am I here?” - I am perplexed. My mind is playing tricks. I needed to go to my living room for my brunch, but this is not what I had intended. I was to comb my hair first and instead of combing my hair I walked into my bedroom wanting to sit, and now here I am (was I really here?) undoing my undoing, walking into my living room. I need to do much more before I can have my brunch. I ought to keep some papers in my study and bring some back to my bedroom as part of minor adjustment in the course of my practice of A to A (action to action).

This desire to get stuck up anywhere and everywhere, any time and every time and to be lost in nothingness is a peculiar tendency, a doing of Nature enforced mainly by five LAWS. If you add up these lost hours, my my, it will add up to almost a lifetime on our scale of time. Is this the doing of Nature? Yes, it always is, when YOU let things happen. “I ought to undo it,” I keep on auto suggesting and observing while undoing. I ought to keep focused on the intended action undoing the nature. Undoing will make me perform the intended action at a faster pace in the absence of any drift or waste. Yes, this saves energies. This increases the intake of energies. This also helps refined energies when one IS from moment to moment, from action to action, using all the 'shocks' engendered by refined impressions of the realizations and WINS.

I feel a little charged up as I de-stick myself from an external indulgence I got into unintentionally as part of Nature’s doing. This extraction was a real WIN, and so far I have had four WINS to my credit.

These WINS bring me face to face with a realization that I am not so detached to my external, and I ought to imbue the sense of meaninglessness in the meaning the external provides in all the happening and beliefs. This alone will enable me to WALK IN and BE, helping me UNDO in the process of DOING.

I taste yet another WIN in the shape of more work I do externally that I was avoiding though necessary for my organized external living, but time consuming. Oh! Yet another UNDOING in the shape of ACTIVE THINKING. I entrusted (after a little tricking and coaxing) a time consuming but necessary work to my wife. I am thinking ACTIVELY.

To be or not to be is a struggle between your endeavor to extract yourself from indulging yourself from the meaninglessness of the external world, detaching your elf from all that is happening surrounding you that occurs every moment owing to the LAW of ACCIDENT only because you let the Nature make you play the passive role, unknowingly or meekly. We must turn the table, switching our role from that of PASSIVE to ACTIVE, breaking the chain of cause and effect, but causing yet another chain. We must keep on breaking these chain, not letting our past effect our present.

In a sense, the whole process of UNDOING is like gathering YOUR pieces, so unintentionally scattered.


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Meaning: Undated
09/04/2006 04:09 p.m.

Meaning finds meaning in the meaning that you give it. Non-issues turn into big issues when you insist on meaning in the meaninglessness.



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I Am Returning to A Now
09/04/2006 03:59 p.m.

July 4th, 2006

Drift, indulgence, and postponement are the three main culprits that make us postpone living. One tends to drift and indulge in dreams or in happenings without caring to balance the cost with the purpose. One tends to postpone making a decision, always imagining it done in the days to come.

But this day never arrives. The decision is never made. The work is never accomplished. Years pass by and we keep on postponing and justifying all the happenings as if these were our doings, and we do project them as our doings.

My priority is A and I hardly return to it, moving from happening B to C and so on, justifying my movements. How can I justify my movements from B to Z when my top priority, my own resolve, is A? I can be justified in justifying my failure if I had done my utmost to attain A and failed in the wake of my external, putting B and C and D in my way. I can justify my non-performance if only I had done my best to un-barricade. But I don't. On the contrary I indulge, I postpone, I dream of the accomplishment.

What do I do?

The only answer is to return to A from all the happenings that drag you away. Struggle and come back. Come back to A.

I am returning to A now.


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Present is Capable: Date Unknown
09/04/2006 03:42 p.m.

Present provides energies
Past consumes
The dream remains the projections of the past.

The role of the past is to afflict the effect with the cause
As the present keeps on transforming the effect into cause
In the process of metamorphosing itself into past

If there is no effect (read present)
There is no cause (read past)
Change the effect by playing ACTIVE
From that of passive
Some chains will break, changing your past.





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I Was Role Playing
08/27/2006 02:02 a.m.

July 3rd, 2006

I was role playing
The role of a good host

In the course of the play
The role interchanged
The 'host' was role playing
The role of the being I know as 'me'
And I was lost in his skin



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I Am Finding My Foothold Back
08/27/2006 01:49 a.m.

July 3rd, 2006

I am finding my foothold back
In the lands of real
Returning back from the dreamy world
Created by my dead

IT IS, as I see, myself seeing
And sensing
In the moment I am
The real is in the AMNESS
And not in the thought
Conceptually real

My search ends
My struggle begins
Here


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How Can One Make a Decision When One is Absent
08/27/2006 01:44 a.m.

July 3rd, 2006

How can one make a decision when one is absent? Decision is an expression of intention that needs the presence of an INTENDING SELF. But we do make decisions every moment as we react to every external stimuli, be it from without or within.



The dead survives
Determining my presence
I dig a grave every moment
For my present

How can 'I' take a quality decision?
When the quality of the presence is bad
A bad decision always has
Ingredients from the dead

Rise Ashrul from your grave
And start taking decisions
By being ever present
In this timeless moment

The quality of our presence will determine
The quality of our decision
The quality of our decision shall determine
The quality of our life


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Jail Laws are Applicable Only When You are Inside the Jail
08/27/2006 01:37 a.m.

July 1st, 2006

Jail laws are in force only when one is inside the jail, or if one is not there of his/her own free WILL. In both cases, one needs to scale those high walls and jump on the other side, internally at least.




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I Am Happy Only WHEN I AM
08/27/2006 01:26 a.m.

June 20th, 2006

The first thought that hit me today, (for the thousandth time,) was that I am happy only WHEN I AM. There has to be an “I” in AMNESS to feel, to sense, to see and to control the mind from drifting. Only if I AM, am I in control. The happiness or unhappiness is also in control.

Thoughts play a vital role. They drift in dead times, assume and make us anxious and unhappy. Millions of people suffer all their lives just because of some assumed thought. This sounds idiotically tragic. WE should use the thoughts rather than the thoughts using US. It's US who should think, and not the thought that should think us.

But the whole tragedy is that we will let the thoughts maul us rather than using their power. We should choose a thought and draw energies from the very impression of the thought.
Those millions of people are mauled just by a thought, and they don't know how to undo these sadistic thoughts.

Happiness has to be our own doing. I remember a Buddhist definition of the essence of self control, “'To control the eye is good; to control the ear is good; to control the nose is good; to control the tongue is good; to control the body is good; to control the speech is good; to control the mind is good; good is control on every side. A Bhikku (monk) who is thus controlled on every side is freed from every suffering.”

Well, I just want to add that it should be the intending I of the Bhikku in control, and WHEN I AM, there is a controller.


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