Whats the speed of time?: Sep,4th,2006
10/28/2006 02:15 a.m.



I threw a ball into future and it dropped in the present

Though the impression of the throw registered in the past

I threw it a bit harder

But again, it dropped in the domain of present

I tried at 100 with the same result

Theoretically, and there was no harm trying theoretically

I threw it at 10000

Same fate. The ball dropped in the present



There is no harm in getting angry here, I thought.

Generating some emotional energies

I kicked the ball at 100000000

Its dropped alas! In the present registering the throw onto past

I saw it dropping in the present by recalling the past.



What's the speed of time?

Shall I try and Kick it at the speed of light?

What if the mass of the ball expands and assumes eternity?

Is the speed of Time is the speed of the light?



But still, I concluded, it will remain in the present

But the question is where will it drop?

Where can an infinity drop?



The Ball will ever remain present, nor it will register the impression of the kick or the drop as it will never drop any where

Not even in the so called present

As there is no time.

As Time will turn into NOTIME, infinitely



I deduce, from my point of view,

Time is an experience.



Based on this experience, I decide to slow down

I decide to do slow down the throw. Throw by throw.



There is no ready made future and past is just a record keeper

Registering every impression.

Is it the past or our minds registering these impression

Letting them guide our present?



The ball will ever drop in the present and if you persist with the speed it will even refuse to drop assuming infinity. The time will become NOTIME.



My time and the time of a moth is different

My time and the time of other organism is different.

Physically and perceptually



The problem is the mind which registers it every time I throw

Because it also determines the boundaries of my throw

Hence forth, I shall throw the ball in the present, guideless

Time is what your mind registers.

And if I can stop this I can easily throw it in NOTIME.

I am currently Reflective

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Defying the allurement of eatables using the Law of repetition:
10/26/2006 03:23 p.m.
Defying the allurement of eatables using the Law of repetition: Sep 3,2006





I have decided to use the Law of Repetition in a big way, gradually. If I can use it for reminding me to remember what I want to remember and bring me back from my escapes, I will use it to defy all kind of habits and impulsive doings of mine, which is an happening in true sense.

To start with I have decided to use it to defy 'spur of the moment impulse' of eating. I will defy all eating impulses other than what my body needs and is attuned to.

There are moments when we just eat out of excitement, indulging recklessly. I am not an impulsive eater but I do eat some times defying the very purpose of eating. I will defy the allurement of the eatables every time it's before me. I just want to see what this repetitive defiance does. Though I know the Law is always on the job and it will work. I will keep the count.




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Evaluating last five months: Sep. 2nd, 2006
10/26/2006 03:22 p.m.






Evaluating last five months: Sep. 2nd, 2006



I am sitting here evaluating my last five months. These are the months, I was hoping a break from my past, in the wake of all my resolves and a different routine prior to the beginning of these months.



I am feeling like laughing though not a hearty laugh but a laugh mocking myself. Why am I evaluating when I have nothing to evaluate other than all the temporary justifications I offered for my consumption and consumed, every time I became aware of my drifts and did my best to postpone all that I wanted to do and undo every thing which barricaded my doing.



Do I evaluate all these justifications? Do I keep on blaming the Nature when I have not behaved like an impeccable warrior? Do I continue justifying happenings? Can I justify letting things happen?



When the demon king Ravana, more powerful than Gods and a learned being, cried out lamenting on his death bed - I wanted to construct a ladder ascending directly to heaven and had wanted to infuse aroma in gold but despite being the only person capable of doing this, I went on postponing and alas! Here I am in my death bed lamenting.



Am I lamenting here in my deathbed, with all the potential unexploited?



NO.



I will not let the Time use me. I am going to use the Time, evaluating every minute, spending it like a miser. My priorities are not jus priorities they are my duties towards my own life. This clearly means I can't use my priority number two as an excuse for not performing my priority number one. I will justify not doing any thing if that is for performing my first duty.



I am bound to get up from this deathbed and construct this ladder. I am going to use time and imbue gold with beautiful aroma. I am a big ZERO so full of all and every thing.





Time uses you if you don't use it





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Keeping the count of remembering to remember: Sep. 1st, 2006.
10/20/2006 02:33 a.m.





Keeping the count of remembering to remember: Sep. 1st, 2006.




I woke up in the middle of night

Remembering to remember

Not a bad beginning I thought

As I started my count

ONE



Eventually I got up at six

Counting TWO

Aware of my awareness

Praising the Law of Repetition which does work



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Filling Boredom with your presence: August 25, 2006.
10/19/2006 12:17 a.m.



Filling Boredom with your presence: August 25, 2006.



The boredom fills me every now and then, from within and my within infects without. The time, infected by this boredom starts solidifying into a mountain, growing disproportionately, desynchronizing the harmony I am trying to establish with it.

The trick is to feel the boredom, filling it with your presence rather than it filling and infecting you.

When all the other laws are subdued, the Law of Boredom (This is how I like to call this Law of deviation/change) comes into force, seeking your surrender. And we do surrender in the mode of escape, taking a flight.

Friends turn foe when the Law takes a full circle. It really hits you hard.


I am currently Reflective

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My level of awareness is a bit high: August25, 2006.
10/19/2006 12:15 a.m.
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My level of awareness is a bit high for obvious reasons and this is filling me with hopes. The clarity is better though still within the sphere of haziness. In relative terms I can say that I am seeing my surroundings more clearly driving at 95 miles than I was seeing when driving at 100. The rows of trees I am seeing through my window are still fleeting though I am getting little extra space and time when driving relatively at five miles lesser pace.

I am not sure how would I experience moving at 5 miles in time. I also don't know what shall happen when I shall STOP altogether. Stopping is relative here like two trains moving at the same pace in the same direction. One can easily walk from one into the other.

I know Time will STOP when I stop. Wouldn't it, relatively? In other words my time would STOP in relation to time in general? After all Time is an experience.

Mass increases disproportionately (though there is a geometric proportion in this) as it moves nearing the pace of light, modern physicist claim. If mass can grow in relation to speed of light, then the clarity too shall intensify in relation to time. After all, when time STOPS in relation to your experience of time, you are in NOTIME, the source of all kind of refined energies and awareness.







I am currently Reflective

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Assorted thoughts that crossed my mind while I was waking up: au
10/19/2006 12:12 a.m.


What matters is the mental state of the recipient and not the intensity or/and the duration of the dose. I woke up almost uttering this thought. After all it's the experience which determines the quality of the dose. May it be a thought, a pill, a placebo or a number. Any thing can mean any thing and every thing can mean a big zero depending on the recipient's experience. Green can mean pink.





Every thing is subject to experiences after all. The concept of objectiveness too is a subjective experience be it an experience of that fella we know as god.









When there is no purpose present in the present the past prevails. The past keeps on unfolding the death when one refuses to LIVE.









I am currently Reflective

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Closing escape routs: 23rd of august, 2006.
10/17/2006 03:46 a.m.






I am low in energies. The cause is obvious. I lack refined impressions, direct or in the form of 'shocks'.

When one is low, one tends to escape. Though there's hardly any place one can get away. We tend to surrender to happenings, escaping from the very presence of our own intending self.

And this is what I am doing. Letting things happen. Postponing every thing that I ought to undo in order to do.

Awareness of one's own predicament causes pain, a forced awareness. Intoxicated or sleeping souls don't feel this intentional pain.

I evaluate my state. I assess my strength rather weakness in my endeavor to auto suggest some positive suggestions but instead of any charge emanating from within, emerges negation and weakness. I am weak and I just want to escape.

A thought crosses my mind out of the blue. Rather a scene.

I see a ring and my opponent occupying it declaring his win.

Why do I have to escape from the scene treating my opponent stronger than me? Why can't I simply climb on the ring and just BE, letting him be, rejoicing in his win? As the rule of the game is that the quantum and the quality of your presence ensures refined energies which in turn ensures a WIN. I won't challenge him when I am weak. I won't wage a conflict with him, when I am weak. I will just occupy my rightful place in the ring and watch him rejoice if he can continue to do so despite my presence. My BEING shall ensure all those energy sources of all my opponents by virtue of my presence.

I am closing all the doors and windows providing any escape rout for my inevitable flight. I am feeling relieved.

I am currently Somber

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Body cannot travel in time, dead or assumed : August 23rd, 2006.
10/16/2006 03:25 a.m.








Body cannot travel in time, dead or assumed : August 23rd, 2006.

Body cannot travel in time, assumed or dead.

Mind can, in any time.

What if I stick to my body, sensing its presence, its amness?

Yes, I can see miracles happening. But the problem of the problem is, how do I remember to remember? Body? Yes, yes, body cannot travel in time. A mind stuck to body cannot escape in a time, dead or assumed.

I am happy I found a trick. Rather rediscovered.

I must now treat my body as temple, driving all the time mounted demons out, sensing my presence and my world through my body, mind and body in tendon

I am currently Reflective

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I have decided to return to the basics: August 7th,2006.
10/15/2006 01:55 a.m.
……… But with a minor diviation. Instead of focusing on the action I shall now concentrate on undoing the negations in the course of my intended action, as the path from one action to another is so full of undesired happenings. I ought to UNDO these happenings, which includes 'stucking up', lethargy, distractions, mechanical thinking, day dreaming and reacting to external stimuli.

I am in the course of an ACTION and there manifests a desire to sit where as I have no purpose in sitting. I am not tired and I am wondering, why do I want to sit? This undoing of sitting wasn't enough as I see myself walking into my living room deviating from the intended action. Why am I here, I am perplexed. My mind is playing tricks. I needed to go to my living room for my brunch but this is not what I had intended. I was to comb my hair first and instead of combing my hair, I walked into my bed room, wanting to sit and now here I am, ( Was I really here?) undoing my undoing, walking into my living room. I need to do much more before I can have my brunch. I ought to keep some papers in my study, bring some back to my bedroom, as part of minor adjustment in the course of my practice of A to A ( action to action).



This desire to get stuck up any where and every where, any time and every time and be lost into nothingness is a peculiar tendency, a doing of Nature enforced by mainly five LAWS. If you add up to these lost hours, my my, it will add up to almost a life time on our scale of time. Is this doing of Nature? Yes, it always is, when YOU let things happen.

I ought to undo it, I keep on auto-suggesting and observe while undoing. I ought to keep focused on the intended action undoing the nature. Undoing will make me perform the intended action at a faster pace in the absence of any drift or waste. Yes, this saves energies. This increases the intake of energies. This also helps refined energies when one IS from moment to moment, from action to action, using all the 'shocks' engendered by refined impressions of the realizations and WINS.



I feel a little charged up as I de stuck my self from an external indulgence, I got into unintentionally as part of Natures doing. This extraction was a real WIN. And so far I have had four WINS to my credit.

These WINS bring me face to face with a realization that I am not so detached to my external. And I ought to imbue the sense of meaninglessness in the meaning the external provides in all the happening and beliefs. This alone will enable me to WALK IN and BE and help me UNDO in the process of DOING.

I taste yet another WIN in the shape of another work I did externally, I was avoiding, necessary for my organized external living, but time consuming. Oh! Yet another, in the shape of ACTIVE THINKING. I entrusted (after a little tricking and coaxing) a time consuming but necessary work to my wife. I am thinking ACTIVELY.



To be or not to be is an struggle between your endeavor to extract your self from indulging your self from the meaninglessness of the external world, detaching your self from all that is happening surrounding you that occurs every moment owing to the LAW of ACCIDENT only because you let the Nature make you play the passive role, unknowingly or meekly, We must turn the table, switching our role from that of PASSIVE to ACTIVE, breaking the chain of cause and effect, but causing yet another chain. We must keep on breaking these chain, not letting our past affect our present.



The whole process of UNDOING is like gathering YOUR pieces, we so unintentionally scatter, in a sense.




I am currently Reflective

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