happier being sad
07/19/2002 01:17 a.m.
i have come to a conclusion: i'm happier being slightly off. I dont think depression is a good thing... but just being melancholy all the time seems like a good mood for me. it allows me to be creative while still having that hope of happiness (the happiness i ultimately know i dont want, because from there, the only direction is down). i write better when i'm depressed- the words seem more real. i seem to be better counsel to others that are depressed- it really helps when you can sympathize with someone.
)blah(
that's me talking outta my ass. i'm gonna go do nothing.
gbye.
I am currently Meloncholy
I am listening to dashboard confessional- this ruined puzzle

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joseph...
04/28/2002 05:38 a.m.
So, tonight was closing night for joseph... unfortunately it wasnt the best performance i've been a part of. oh well. Anyways, the cast party was interesting... it's hard to explain... i'm glad i didnt listen to my impulses tonight... just leave it at that. anyways, joseph is over.... and so is my acting carreer @ south view... oh well... new school to conquer next year.
tangents hasnt called me, and i'm giving up all hope that they will. Maybe if someone from my family would ANSWER THE GOD DAMNED PHONE when it isnt for them i might have actually gotten something. That kinda pisses me off. oh well. it's past 12:30 now... and i have to wake up tomorrow. fuck. i'm gonna go get this makeup off and go to sleep. so, g'nite all my biz-nachy grich-es!
i know i'm not ghetto. i dont even wanna be. i'm tired. good night yall.
peace
love
andy
I am currently Bothered
I am listening to Quarashi- Stick Em Up

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grr... tangents!
04/23/2002 01:45 a.m.
i'm kinda actually gonna really use this journal, since nobody anywhere else respects privacy... so yah. anyways, both betsy and brandon have already gotten calls from tangents... i havent yet. i'm getting scared... cuz they said that they would call everyone that applied... did i suck so much that they didnt even bother calling? that's my luck... bummer... i kinda always knew that people were just BSing me when they said i was a good writer...oh well. so yah... i'm kinda bummed that i suck so much. laters...
ooh... and i just got the weezer blue album... I LOVE THIS FUCKING CD.
peace out
andy
I am currently Bored
I am listening to weezer- the world turned and left me here

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Rejected
03/09/2002 11:32 p.m.
I dont know why i feel this way. i dont know what i've done to these people. my friends dont seem to like me at all anymore- things i feel like i would normally be invited to without a second guess are happening without me. Popularity sucks. I try to keep my friends happy- but i dont know, there are so many more than i can manage- and instead of giving something more of myself to it, i end up spreading thin whatever i already have out there. it seems like no one cares about me anymore- i do after all, have cheryl who gives me a good dose of what i can handle. But i still need more- not just overall, but from more than one person. but i dont know if i want too many people. i know i'm completely contradicting myself here- but still- i never wanted to be popular. i always thought of myself as that guy who only has like 10 or so really good friends, and that was it... and i was happy with that. but now that i look at it, there are more people than i can handle, and as a result i end up being pretty neglecting to all of them. in turn, thats what happens to me. why cant things just be the way they were? i just feel so left out right now... it's probably my fault (it always seems like it is)... i need some zoloft- maybe that would make me a little bit more positive...
andy
I am currently Somber
I am listening to oasis- Dont look back in anger

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Journal Entry
02/11/2002 04:55 a.m.
wow... i havent updated for a while once again.... oh well, you know this is probably important then... anyways, today is my 16th birthday... and it was so cool. i went shopping for my present, (i just get cash now-a-days) and also for a v-day gift for cheryl. little did i know i wouldnt have to hold on to it for too long... she came over tonight.... i wont spoil the suprise just yet... but i got her a heart necklace with her birthstone in it... and then i got myself a couple of cd's (System of a down's toxicity, and the strokes' is this it) and william shakespeare's romeo+juliet... so yah. anyways, now on to the good stuff... as i said, cheryl paid me a suprise visit this evening. not only was she able to give me this super cool blue pillow thingy.... and a bit more... i wont go into that too much... (i've been into other th.... I'm not gonna finish that sentence.... hehehe) nah, we werent doing THAT.... but i cant complain at what did happen. i guess my brother's not as bad as i thought... he 'didnt see anything'... whew... he kinda knocked at an inoppritune moment... anyways... good day today. i'm 16. so yay. oh, and the real reason i'm posting this here and not elsewhere is because livejournal is down... dammit. oh well... i should get some zzz's... so laters!!!
peace
love
andy
I am currently Erotic
I am listening to radiohead- fitter happier

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Journal Five
01/05/2002 05:24 p.m.
hello to you all... my idea of updating my journal synonymously with livejournal kinda fell through the floor... sorry... anyways, here's the entry.
i am fucking insane... and i did something yesterday that i'm not sure i'm too proud of... what is my preocupation with sex being wrong? damn you parents... i didnt actually have sex, but still, it felt like i did something seriously wrong. fuck, why the hell am i even telling this to you?? besides the guilt that has followed, yesterday was the best day of my life- it's just so amazing.
alot has happened since i last updated- the new year, obviously. i finally get to say goodbye to the shit that was 2001- a fucking long year. check my livejournal (username betweenhell) for a year end reflection entry. anywho, i havent done any homework for the entire break... oh well. new years eve was awesome- cheryl came over- i got to spend 4 hours with her then. yesterday i spent 10 with her... you have no idea how amazing that was. wow. well, for times sake, i gotta go- but i'll ttyl!!
I am currently Stellar
I am listening to creed- my sacrifice (turning the radio OFF now...)

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Journal Entry
12/18/2001 09:47 p.m.
hey people... what's happening? not much here... today was a community service day @ school. it was pretty darn fun, if you ask me. We went to this center for mentally challenged adults, and i got to help out there alot. i got to hang out on the computers (some nice ones, actually), and also, sing. lots of singing. christmas carols. fun... yeah. so, anyway, that was good... and then we got back to school, and we had a nice little welcome party... and since cheryl and i were on different service trips, this was a great time of the day. you know... slip outta the 'party' a few minutes early... get reacquainted after the long day. well, yeah... i'm gonna SHUT UP NOW... yah. hey, i just got a call from cheryl! hooray... it was basically 'hi, i'm using someone elses cell phone and i gotta go bye' type thing... but hey, i got to hear her voice... which i love... but then again, i love everything about her. :-**
okay then. i have to go... i have play practice every night this week from 6:00-8:45... and then on thursday night, all the way til 10:30. i dont think our youth director can handle kids all that great. oh well... whatever. so, i gotta go... i need caffiene.
so yah... ttyl
peace and love
andy!
p.s. I LOVE YOU MORE CHERYL... if i'm 'mm mm good', then um, i've got one thing to say to you: "COOOOOOOOOKKKIE CRISP!" er, whatever.
I am currently Peachy
I am listening to tool- schizm

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Journal Three
12/17/2001 09:31 p.m.
heyhey! what's up? nm here... i'm just bored here, as always. today i finally gave cheryl her christmas present... i made it like friday night... i think she'll like it, ;-). okay... well, i've found a few friends on here. okay, so it's cool. um, lets see... i was gonna try to make out with cheryl today at school, but it kinda, um, didnt happen. *sighs* ah well, there are other days. Ooh, yay! tomorrow we get to go do service projects... and it'll be fun. grr... i'm bored. i have a bottle of code red, though... so it's a little more interesting than it might be uncaffeinated. okay, i gotta go... i have theatre rehearsal tonight... funfun. so yah, ttyl!
peace and love
andy
I am currently Fiesty
I am listening to metallica- I Disappear

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Journal two
12/17/2001 12:35 a.m.
hey everyone- if you visit my website often, you'll notice that the poetry link has referred you to here. so, anyway, i'm just gonna start synonymously posting on here, and on livejournal. anything i put up there from now on will always be posted here. eventually, this will probably take over my online life. whee... i've told a bunch of my friends about how great this site is, but they cant seem to get themselves accepted on here... BAH!!! okay then. today, the whole adams gang from around the state of MN is here... ah, fun. not really... :-P. okay, i g2g... ttyl.
I am currently Bleh
I am listening to Rage against the machine: Killing in the name of

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journal one
12/16/2001 06:28 a.m.
hello people... if you're reading this, one has to wonder why. i also have to wonder why i'm even posting here... i have an account on livejournal. if you want to check that out, it's at http://www.livejournal.com/users/betweenhell/ so, yeah. if you care about my life at all... you should check there. i guess i'm just bored, and this is my first day here on pathetic. i used to be on http://www.poesie.com/ but they decided that they wanted to start charging for use. bah, humbug. i''m gonna go get some sleep now... yah.
peace
love
andy
I am currently Affectionate
I am listening to red hot chili peppers- Soul to squeeze

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