Where Would I Be Without You?
06/23/2004 12:26 a.m.
I love Alan so much. Where would I be without him now? Alone and bitter... Or still hanging on to what little I had left with Todd and crying every night because of something else he might have said to hurt me.

I have never felt this happy in all of my life. He makes me feel amazing... I'd give anything to be able to hold him right now...and to brush his lips with mine. I can't imagine loving anyone else the way that I love Alan Nelson. I've heard of fate...but this is more than that

It is like I want to say so much about him...but no words are good enough... No words can do my feelings justice or Alan justice. There is nothing bad about him... Nothing...

"Love is broad. If you love someone, you love all things, not just their beauty. Love is narrow. You love one and only one, compared to them, no one matters."


I LOVE ALAN NELSON!!!!!
I am currently Giddy
I am listening to Nothingness

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Everything
06/22/2004 02:34 a.m.
*~EVERYTHING~*
~Lifehouse~

Find me here
Speak to me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That is leading me to the place where i find peace again
You are the strength that keeps me walking
You are the hope that keeps me trusting
You are the life to my soul
You are my purpose
You are everything
And how can i stand here with you and not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this
You calm the storms
You give me rest
You hold me in your hands
You won't let me fall
You steal my heart and you take my breath away
Would you take me in
Would you take me deeper now
'cause you're all i want
You are all i need
You are everything, everything


To Alan...You are my everything! I love you more than words can express.

I am currently Romantic
I am listening to Everything--Lifehouse

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Love Love Love Love
06/21/2004 10:15 p.m.
I love Alan!!

He surprised me today with a phone call. Oh how much I love to hear his voice. I miss him soooooo much. I can't wait to see him again. Eleven days... Eleven loonngg days.

I wish I could hold him right now... and kiss him and mmmmm.... ok gotta stop now. lol :)

I LOVE ALAN NELSON!
I am currently Loved
I am listening to Will and Grace

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Alan Alan Alan Alan Alan Alan
06/21/2004 01:02 a.m.
I have to be on-call for work starting tomorrow. :-/ Not too excited about that, but I will love the bigger paycheck. Hopefully I won't be too busy.

Went to my parent's for Father's Day today. Not much went on. Had dinner then cmae back to my apartment, ran a mile on my treadmill and am now awaiting my nighly conversation with my honey! :)

I wish Alan was with me right now. I miss him more than words can describe. Twelve more days until I can be in his arms again! :) YAY! Alan is amazing! I love him! I think I've found my soulmate!!! :)
I am currently Affectionate
I am listening to Justin Timberlake--Like I Love You

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Drank too much last night
06/19/2004 03:18 p.m.
Got a little drunk yesterday. :-/ I'm a little afraid that I made an idiot out of myself to not only my co-workers, but to Alan. I do remember talking to him for a little bit last night... just not quite sure what I said to him.

Well I still love him... and I hope I ddn't scare him. :)

I found the perfect place for me to live :) My co-worker is builidng a house right on Elk Lake...Right now she and her husband are living in an apartment right above the garage to their new home. When their home is built, they will be renting out the apartment. :) I want to live there. It is in the woods and has the greatest view of the lake. I love it! It will probably take my co-worker a year or two to finish her house, but that is fine with me. And maybe by then, Alan will be here :)

I love Alan!
I am currently Fabulous
I am listening to Cartoons on TV

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Tired...But Still Thinking of Alan
06/17/2004 09:46 p.m.
Today was soooo long. Or at least it seemed that way. I did not want to wake up this morning at all... (I think that I am still recovering from my weekend with Alan :) ). Work just seemed to drag today.

I babysat 6 foster children for 2 1/2 hours today because the agency decided to have a luncheon to say thank you to our foster parents. I didn't mind that so much because I love hanging out with kids :) The rest of the day just went by so slowly.

I got home about an hour ago and spent a long time washing dishes (also from this past weekend). There were a ton of them. But I am just glad that they are done. :) Now I am planning on taking a nap because I have a date with Alan around midnight. (Ok...not an actual "date" but I do get to talk to him...YAY! :) ).

I am excited also because according to his journal, Alan finally got his cell phone! Which means we can talk more! :) YAY YAY YAY! :)

I can't believe how much I miss him right now. I have to be the luckiest person on earth to have found him. Really... he is amazing. I can't wait to see him again. 15 days until I drive up to Maine to see him! :) It will be incredible...
I am currently Tired
I am listening to the clock ticking

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Early--but Happy
06/16/2004 11:37 a.m.
I love Alan. :) I am thinking about him more now than I did before we met. I talked to him about taking our time and moving slow and how a "relationship" was not what I was looking for at this point. He understood. He agreed that we should take it slow...at least for a year until he could transfer to a school closer to me. :)

I love him
I love him
I love him

And the best part... he loves me. :)
I am currently Loved
I am listening to Good Morning America

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Alan is Amazing
06/15/2004 01:36 a.m.
Alan is amazing. Seriously...I never thought I could like him this much, but I do I do I do :). We just spent the last 73 hours together... :)

I worry about the distance between us...and that seems to be a point that others are already pointing out. For Christ's sake... just let me be happy... Let me enjoy the fact that I met someone that I connect with so much...

But for now... I don't care about the distance... I love Alan... Yes... I LOVE him. We can at least try... it won't hurt anyone for us to try. If the distance becomes a problem... then so be it...

But I can't just walk away from what I feel because of distance... I can't and I won't. I mean I cried watching him drive out of that parking lot today. It was like I felt like I wasn't going to see him again, but I know that is stupid... I know I am going to see him again.

I don't know if this is a "relationship" yet...but I want it to be eventually. Maybe it won't be until he lives closer... but until then... I don't want to see anyone else... I feel way too much for Alan. Alan and I are perfect together... and yes it is possible to feel this way so soon. I know it is possible because it is what I am feeling.

Love you Alan!
I am currently Exhausted
I am listening to TV

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Tomorrow is the Day! :)
06/11/2004 01:47 a.m.
Alan is coming tomorrow! Yay! I am so excited! I hope he likes me... Because I like him already and I don't even know him...lol:) Well lots to do before tomorrow comes :)
I am currently Cheerful
I am listening to Billy Joel

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Smiles
06/08/2004 01:50 p.m.
Thats all I have to say is Alan is incredible! :) Only three more days!!! :)
I am currently Great
I am listening to water dripping in my sink

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