Perfect Life
08/10/2004 10:12 p.m.
I am missing Alan so incredibly much today. He is such a sweetie. :) For anyone that cares to see how special he is...check out his online journal at: www.livejournal.com/~nelsonslament

He is adorable and I love him. :)

So my birthday is tomorrow and I will be 23. How much of a "blah" age. Oh well...I guess we all have to age. I'll be going to Coopers with my sister and co-worker tomorrow where they give out a free lobster or filet mignon dinner on your birthday as well as a nifty crab hat :) I have a hat from last year...but I could always use another crab hat. :) I am excited.

Also I am going to a Bryan Adams concert this Saturday, which is exciting and I am leaving for Jamaica on Monday! :) And only 24 days until I drive back up to Maine to see my sweetie again. My life is almost perfect right now...

Notice I said almost... It will be perfect when Alan moves down here to be with me forever:) I love Alan!
I am currently Happy
I am listening to That 70s Show

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Alan Is Incredible
08/09/2004 03:58 a.m.
I love Alan Nelson more and more each day. I can't imagine loving anyone else the way that I love him. He has just popped into my life unexpectedly and I am never going to let him go. :) YAY FOR ALAN! YAY FOR US! YAY FOR BEING IN LOVE!


I am currently Giddy
I am listening to Myself type

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Lost Without Him
08/08/2004 03:17 a.m.
I am feeling completely depressed right now. Alan is not here. Alan is in Maine. I am here alone...without Alan. I can't believe how much I feel like crying right now. I miss him so damn much that I feel sick to my stomach.

Nine more months... only have to wait nine more months to be together... I hope I make it that long.


I am currently Depressed
I am listening to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

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So Sad
08/05/2004 10:11 p.m.
So this weekend is over (far too soon I might add) and Alan is gone back to Maine :( I had such a great weekend just being with him...having him meet all of my friends (and when I say ALL... I mean ALL) :) My apartment feels so empty without him right now. It's like I almost expect him to come up behind me and wrap his arms around my shoulders as I type. I hate this. I hate being away from him. Tonight is going to be so lonely without him... :(
I am currently Sad
I am listening to Will and Grace

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Awesome Weekend With Alan :)
07/29/2004 01:36 a.m.
I get to see my sweetie tomorrow!!! :) YAY!!! I miss him so so much. I can't wait until he crawls into bed with me...:) I love him! :)

Awesome weekend ahead of me... :)


I am currently Anxious
I am listening to Me... :)

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Three Days Left
07/27/2004 01:44 a.m.
Three more days!!! Woohoo! I get to be with my sweetheart soon :) How much better could life get? :) Well it would be better if I got to see him all of the time... but regardless he will be here in three days! :)

I love Alan!

:)


I am currently Excited
I am listening to The fan blowing air

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Alan Makes Me Weak :)
07/26/2004 01:13 a.m.
Four days until Alan comes down! :) Can't wait to see him again... I love him sooooo much.

~I GET WEAK~
~Belinda Carlisle~
When I'm with you
I shake inside
my heart's all tangled up
my tongue is tied...its crazy
cant walk cant talk
cant eat cant sleep
oh im in love...oh im in deep..cuz baby
with a kiss you can strip me defenseless
with a touch I completely lose control
all thats left of my strength is a memory
whoa...

I...get weak when i look at you
weak when we touch
I can't speak when I look in your eyes...
i get weak when you're next to me
weak from this love
I can't speak when I look in your eyes...
I...get weak...

Romantic eyes
Persuasive lips
The helpless heart just can't resist their power
You know you've got a hold of me
You know you've got me where i want to be..
cuz lover...
Like a wave you keep pulling me under
How ill ever get out of this, i dont know
I just know that there's no way to fight it..
Whoa...oh...

I...get weak when i look at you
Weak when we touch
I can't speak when I look in your eyes...
I get weak when you're next to me
Weak from this love
I'm in deep when I look in your eyes...
I...get weak...


ONLY FOUR MORE DAYS!!!!!!!! CAN NOT WAIT TO HOLD HIM AGAIN!!! :)


I am currently Affectionate
I am listening to Brick--Ben Folds

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Countdown
07/24/2004 02:21 a.m.
Three days until I have to take my new kitten to the vet
Four days until I have to testify in court for my job
Six days until I get to see my sweetie again :)
Twelve days until I have to say good-bye to my sweetie yet again :(
Nineteen days until I turn 23! :)
Twenty-two days until the Bryan Adams concert in Hershey.
Twenty-four days until my trip to Jamaica. :)
Thirty-six days until my orientation for Marywood.
And forty-one days until I drive up to Maine to see my sweetie again! :)

It seems there is always a countdown to something else that is significant in my life. The most significant thing at this point is being able to see Alan as much as possible and making the most of our very little time together. I love Alan more than anything and I really wish life wasn't keeping us from being together...but it is...for the time being...
I am currently Lustful
I am listening to The Yankees--Red Sox Game

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I Need Alan...Now
07/23/2004 01:30 a.m.
Seven days until Alan is in my arms. I can not wait to hold him again!

~MORE THAN WORDS~
(skipping parts that aren't relevant to me and Alan) :)

Here I am at six o'clock in the morning
Still thinking about you
It's still hard, at six o'clock in the morning
To sleep without you

I need you now
More than words can say
I need you now
I've got to find a way
I need you now
Before I lose my mind
I need you now

Here I am, I'm looking out my window
I'm dreaming about you
Can't let you go, at six o'clcok in the morning
I feel you beside me

I need you now
More than words can say
I need you now
I've got to find a way
I need you now
Before I lose my mind
I need you now
More than words can say
I need you now
Oh I got to hear you say
I need you now
Before I lose my mind
I need you now
I need you now




I am currently Affectionate
I am listening to Music

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Sucky Day
07/21/2004 01:56 a.m.
Sucky sucky day today. Crazy day at work...Way too emotionally involved with clients... Need to stop that. Also our secretary quit today and I love her... She will be missed. And the story behind how she quit (was asked to resign) really makes me question my job security. I can not wait until September 15th comes, so I am not obligated to work for Children and Youth anymore.

My car has an oil leak and it will apparently be quite expensive to get fixed. Another sucky part of the day.

I miss my Alan more and more and today seems to be the worst.... I feel so alone without him. It's strange because I know I have tons of friends and family that do support me... I just feel like the connection I have with Alan is so much deeper than any of my other relationships with people. It's like I feel like he is the ONLY one who can understand me and make me feel better when I am sad or feeling not-so-wonderful. He makes me feel wonderful again. It is so difficult to explain, but because I feel this connection with him...it makes it that much more difficult to be away from him. It just sucks...

Only nine more days! Will I make it?...I hope so

I am currently Bothered
I am listening to Cats fighting

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