{ pathetic.org }
 

take this weight please

by Ava Blu

i dont want to i dont want to i dont
want to i dont want to i
dont
want
to

i dont want to feel it anymore
and i am too old to bring myself into the sun
and pretend to not be burned by every lie you tell

i dont want to fall for someone else
i dont want to fall for the gimmicks
i dont want to carry burdens that i had when i was ten

but i do

i dont want to
i
dont want
to want
you
anymore

06/30/2022

Posted on 06/30/2022
Copyright © 2022 Ava Blu

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Nadia Gilbert Kent on 06/30/22 at 09:59 PM

Highly relatable, much to my dismay. I like the line breaks. Might be interesting to play with the lines visually, so it's more of a bell curve or a data skew.

Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 07/16/22 at 02:23 AM

Repetition is very effective here. Interesting to see dont without apostrophe. I'm with Nadia - might experiment with a little more fluid feel, especially in S1 and S5.

Return to the Previous Page
 

pathetic.org Version 7.3.2 May 2004 Terms and Conditions of Use 0 member(s) and 2 visitor(s) online
All works Copyright © 2022 their respective authors. Page Generated In 0 Second(s)