take this weight please
by Ava Blu
i dont want to i dont want to i dont
want to i dont want to i
i dont want to feel it anymore
and i am too old to bring myself into the sun
and pretend to not be burned by every lie you tell
i dont want to fall for someone else
i dont want to fall for the gimmicks
i dont want to carry burdens that i had when i was ten
but i do
i dont want to
Posted on 06/30/2022
Copyright © 2023 Ava Blu
|Member Comments on this Poem|
|Posted by Nadia Gilbert Kent on 06/30/22 at 09:59 PM|
Highly relatable, much to my dismay. I like the line breaks. Might be interesting to play with the lines visually, so it's more of a bell curve or a data skew.
|Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 07/16/22 at 02:23 AM|
Repetition is very effective here. Interesting to see dont without apostrophe. I'm with Nadia - might experiment with a little more fluid feel, especially in S1 and S5.
|Posted by Joan Serratelli on 09/16/22 at 09:46 PM|
Interesting read- last stanza was GREAT!!