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I Don’t know what to Feel

by James Zealy

I have not felt yet
The true impact
Of a 45 plus year journey
With a wild Irish spirit

It ended so quietly
With just a last breath
Where we hesitantly
Waited for more

A question
A shared glance
My daughters grief crying
On her mother’s chest

I am numb, slow tears
Asking myself the question
Did I keep my promise?
Did I keep her by safe?

Caring for her
On a last trip
That no one
Wanted to travel

Was a nine year
Slow path of watching
Her slowly fade away
With each diagnosis

Her goals became
Grandkids born
Grand child adopted
Watching them grow

She got all of that
When neither of us
Was sure her future
Had that in her cards

For that I am grateful
Her happy place
Was time with them
Nothing else mattered more

She has been an inspiration
To my writing journey
She was a lightning rod
For those that ask how?

There is much left to understand
I cannot begin to know
How much is left to feel
Time will deliver that message


Posted on 03/25/2021
Copyright © 2021 James Zealy

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 03/25/21 at 01:39 PM

Quite the moving piece James. Again my condolences. Really like the way you wrap it up in that last stanza. I too lost someone special last October...to Cancer. An ex-girlfriend who once lived with me. We remained close as spiritual friends. Yes indeed, Time will deliver that message.

Posted by Clara Mae Gregory on 03/28/21 at 10:29 AM

Kee, I am so sorry to hear this sad news. I understand quite well the struggles having spent time in the trenches with my brother's lost battle to lung cancer and I just lost my BIL to it a few weeks ago. Now she RIP having experienced knowing her grandchildren. That is a blessing. Time will pass fast....and we will see our loved ones again. Focus on the babies. They need you. You and your family are in my prayers.

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