We first met our quarry on a hot Summer's afternoon at Baskin's Beach trailer park, while gathering rocks to build a temporary fireplace. Pulling a large one out from underneath some shrubs, turning it over, there it was.

I'll have to be honest with you; snakes don't bother me, and I don't mind rodents. Insects can be pests, but I can put up with them. Spiders however are a different story. They're just one of those things I could never get used to. Call it a primordial fear. Why I've even heard stories of grown men throwing up just at the sight of a spider. Now, I'm not that bad, but whenever I happen to stumble upon one, a cold shiver shoots through my body, and then my skin begins to crawl.

Maybe it has something to do with an incident that took place as a kid. I woke up one night about three AM, and walking into the bathroom still half asleep, I sat down on the toilet in answer to nature's call. What I didn't realize, was that a whole nest of baby spiders had hatched that night from an egg sac suspended above the toilet. When I went to stand up, I ended up with web and about two dozen tiny spiders all through my hair. I still can't help that feeling of revulsion on discovering one climbing up my living room or bedroom wall.

Despite this, I have to admit they are one of nature's most marvelous creations. They do after all eat a lot of pesky insects, especially when they spin their little webs, and remain stationary, where I can keep a safe eye on them. Wolf spiders, however, are a different story, because they don't spin webs to catch prey. This creates a dilemma, because you never know where or when one is going to show up. You see, unlike their web spinning cousins, Wolf spiders belong to a different class known as the hunting spiders. That is, instead of spinning a web and waiting for dinner to come to them, these babies walk about and do the exact opposite; they go looking for dinner. And they're well equipped for the job. One of nature's deadliest predators, and what they lack in size, they make up for in speed, agility, and aggressiveness. In addition to this, they have excellent eyesight...all eight of them.

At this point you're probably wondering what all the fuss is over a few teeny weenie spiders? Well my friends, that's just the point. Until that afternoon up at the trailer park, that's all I thought they were too...teeny weenie. Now as I stated before, I don't mind spiders, as long as they stay out of my way, but when they're big enough to hold a conversation with you; that's a different story.

This eight-legged fellow was no ordinary spider. With a leg span of over five inches, we didn't know whether to stuff it or cook it up next morning with our breakfast eggs. I'd seen spiders like this before in books or safely behind the walls of a terrarium in a pet shop, but here, wild in the great white north of Canada? No word of a lie, this creepy crawly looked like an adolescent Tarantula. The thought of sleeping in open tents, even trailers, and waking up face to face with one of these suckers wasn't very appealing, especially for an arachnophobe like myself. How many of his brothers and sisters were on the loose was my next question.

After a few seconds of consultation with my friends, we decided to give Boris the official Raid taste test. After one good spray at close range…nothing! The spider simply began moving away from the offensive chemical. After about five minutes, we must have emptied half a can on the beast, to no avail. Finally, in the spirit of kill and let live (us that is), we squashed the menacing arachnid with a large rock. None of us had the nerve to use our shoes in case he got smart and leapt onto his executioner's leg to attack with sharp venomous fangs.

I would've liked to have preserved Wolfy for posterity somehow. Kind of proof against the spider that got away, but his legs all shriveled up, curling close to his body as spiders tend to do upon dying. In a last-ditch effort to make sure he wouldn't come back to life, we flung the dead arachnid into the campfire with a stick. It's the only way we could sleep that night.

Since that day, I've heard of only two other cases where spiders that big were found in this part of the woods. And now every time I'm up at the trailer park, you can be sure I've got my eyes peeled. So, the next time you're trudging in the outdoors, be careful where you walk, and be especially wary of any rocks you decide to turn over. You might come face to face with one of Willy's cousins; the infamous Wolf spider.





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07/22/2019

Posted on 07/22/2019
Copyright © 2024 Chris Sorrenti