maybe i was beautiful once...

by Olivia Weinkein

maybe i was beautiful once,
maybe it was a tuesday.
you did not notice it but
maybe it's because you can't see me.

and people will only love you
as long as they can touch you,
fingertips piercing souls
popping every body's bubble.

i am not sunshine & roses
i am not what your mother would
have me be
but i can claw my way out of almost
anything and for this, you will always
owe me.

this is getting a little old now,
like my skin, your excuses,
that gleam in your eye. this is
getting a little cold now,
as i walk out the door without
saying goodbye.

if you wanted to love me, i can handle that.
i can zip it up inside my mouth,
cook your dinners and hold your hand.
but whatever
is i can do without.
there are truths you would never understand.

i could stay your mediocre puppet, fattening up
day after day after
i could embody the lies you tell yourself
to stay warm and keep the monsters at bay


maybe i Was beautiful once.
and just maybe it was a tuesday
you did not notice it but
maybe it's because you can't see me.


Posted on 03/27/2019
Copyright © 2019 Olivia Weinkein

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Rob Littler on 04/09/19 at 03:15 PM

...maybe there are more of us who can zip it up inside our mouths, never forgetting...just acting a part for something or someone...but the idea is right, once there is no love, and the degeneration to "whatever this is" begins or completes, then it is time for anew, renew, eschew, screw, chew, phew!

Posted by Glenn Currier on 04/10/19 at 04:14 PM

Thanks, Olivia, for sharing this. It regularly astounds me how much poets reveal of their souls in their work. The tortured days and moments of rejection or indifference, not sure which of those is worse. The lines that hit me are: "...i walk out the door without / saying goodbye." To me, there is such sadness and discouragement if not anger in those words. And I wish I could say they never applied to me, but I can't. Your writing them reminds me of the cost of relationship. Thanks again.

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