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If I Can't Hear Amanda Marshall Then I'm Glad To Be Me

by Chris Sorrenti

where’s Dr. Laura when we need her?

if I have to listen to Amanda Marshall a fifth time today
on this not too soft / not too hard radio station...

talk about 10 things women can do to screw up their lives
just listen to the lyrics
once you make it past the cheesy whistling

“I wouldn’t want to be me if I didn’t have you”

come on...give me a break!
do women still buy into this crap?
making dysfunctional attraction sound attractive

“Hey! back off man
I’m a big recording star
that gives me the right to obsess over whoever I please...

Dr. Laura?
jump in any time now...
paging Dr. Laura
hmmm...maybe she’s at another nude photo shoot

I rest my case

© 2000
Revised © 2018

220 hits as of June 2020


Author's Note: Inspired by the Amanda Marshall tune, If I Didn’t Have You. At the time of writing this, at work, we had a small portable radio, that had to be stuck on the same commercial station, day in and day out. As is common, the station had only a small play list of songs that they would play ad nauseum. The only break was in the afternoon when the Dr. Laura talk show would come on, offering advice mainly to misguided women. She herself was eventually taken off the air when it was discovered that she had done a nude photo shoot at some point in the distant past. In revising the poem, I dug up the song’s video on YouTube, and have to admit it sounded pretty good. Maybe because I was listening to it on a decent sound system for a change, and not five times in a single day. So, my apologies to Ms. Marshall...and Dr. Laura...we all make mistakes.

Posted on 01/28/2019
Copyright © 2020 Chris Sorrenti

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