Perhaps it was she who planted the seed:
Perhaps I first saw the place properly
Reflected in her usually downcast eyes,
Brought to life by a rare smile
That began in her heart.

When I searched for a “to” to
Balance my “from”, I found a sapling
Already rooted in my soul;
With day trips and daydreams,
I secretly nurtured the possibility
Of a new home, my next home,
A true home for my wandering heart.

As it turned out, I could move on
Without moving out; “from” was enough,
Since the only home I needed was myself.

If I knew then what I knew now,
About how I would grow into a new life
That did not constrict me, I would
Not have wasted time on fantasies
Of fairytale cities and far fetched lives…

But somehow, yet again, I am
In thrall to nostalgia for sadder times,
For youthful pessimism, for
Darker days and lonely nights
From which I craved escape.

Even though I knew that whatever
Life I could have lived could never
Live up to the one I have now,
My heart sometimes tries to tell me
That it is where I should be.

One day, I hope, I will accept that
I deserve this happiness I have
Finally found; for now, I am simply
Trying to escape the gravity of
A collapsing star, but occasionally,
Inevitably, slipping back.

07/20/2018

Posted on 07/23/2018
Copyright © 2024 Richard Vince