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A Riddle in Life

by Brian Francis

When I was young excitement kept driving me
Making me spin like a dreidel gone wrong
Pushing me, pulling me, spinning me crazily
my parents would moan what now has he done
deep in the woods when no one was watching me
just me and the forest as it whispered its song
I would go running or climbing my favorite tree
Jumping and laughing without worry or fear
'cause no one was near
because no one was near

They sent me to school telling me to be real good
And God how I tried, how I fought to fit in
nobody there could seem to connect with me
They saw me as trouble and fed me their pills
just one and I didn't stop, my spinning continued
then two and then three, till I slept on the floor
that was their aim it seemed a stilled little boy
Hog tied with chemicals I was lost and confused
'cause I wasn't there
because I wasn't there

back then to my parents relief, I was a calm boy
still and much easier when they fed me the pills
The clouds of my mind a thick fog - my reality
memories hidden, thought processes stilled
that was my life I was depressed and dejected
The boy found within, unwanted, learned to hide
I still found the forest my favorite seclusion
instead of running and jumping I slept or I cried
'cause I thought no one cared
because I thought no one cared


Posted on 09/22/2017
Copyright © 2019 Brian Francis

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Glenn Currier on 12/26/17 at 05:29 PM

Brian, thanks so much for sharing this. I feel the pain and loneliness. I too had big periods of feeling alienated during my life. Although I didn't have pills, I had other ways of escaping my soul pain. Thank God I lived long enough to find my way back to my spiritual center and to God. I appreciate the journey you shared in your beautiful, painful poem and feel honored to be a small part of the journey if only as a minor observer. Blessings to you.

Posted by John Herzog on 12/27/17 at 09:55 PM

This was a devastating read, a lament I easily identify with... how we supplement our neurotransmitters with pills to preserve the comfort of others. Who am I with them? Who am I without them? I'm grateful for you sharing this.

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