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I live in a world

by Kimberly Bauer

I live in a world that is beautiful and lonely and brisk and colorful and isolating.
I live in a world where I don't quite fit.
I want to be loved and understood and appreciated but I also want to be alone with my tea and my dog and stare out the window, comforted, gaining strength by my own thoughts- on the good days.
I want to be active and social and clean and assertive.
But I want to sleep and lounge and fuck the world off with my dirty forgotten mind, on the bad days.
I live in a world that is constant and changing and fleeting and stable.
I live in a world that is bright and erotic and inspiring and full of doom.
I want to make a change and I want to be the best me I can be.
But I want to hang on and make it through another day without crumbling. Holding myself together trying to make the broken pieces meld.
I live in a world where I don't quite fit.

10/16/2016

Author's Note: living with depression, anxiety and an ever churning mind.

Posted on 10/16/2016
Copyright © 2020 Kimberly Bauer

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Philip F De Pinto on 10/16/16 at 07:23 PM

Depression is a valley as opposed to a hill, each up and down fulfills a need and a purpose. And I am of a mind to say that the mind is of a need and necessity to churn, how else can it carousel thoughts around and around lest they stagnate in remaining still round the fulcrum which is the brain? This is a wonderful thought provoking ode.

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