Dear Editor,

I’m writing to commend you on your excellent picture spread
in last week’s issue; the blood stained bed sheets really made my day.
Oh and by the way, how old was the woman who had the rubber spiders
sown into her vagina?

Good coverage on page three, the story of the young man, who for a lark,
broke into the crypt and stole an archivist’s head. I laughed upon reading
that the thief didn’t need a knife, the victim having been dead six months.
Can you imagine the look on his wife’s face peeking into the paper bag?

And those Montreal detectives, looking positively dashing
in their three piece suits, escorting the young prostitute into the station.
Congrats to the photographer for having captured her expression
of nonchalance. Turn this way please, and I’ll massage your bad side.

I couldn’t put the paper down though upon seeing the bloated bodies
of the Hell’s Angels sent swimming in their sleeping bags,
having bilked the Sherbrooke chapter out of well deserved cocaine money.
The club house, unbelievable! The oversized bathroom having nicer furniture
than my living room.

In closing, let me just say, keep up the good work!
Looking forward to my next gory copy.
Who knows, someday soon maybe I’ll rob a bank or off my neighbour.
That way, I too can be a star in an upcoming issue of Photo Police.

Sincerely,
Jacques the Ripper

© 1987

1,040 hits as of December 2023

01/26/2016

Author's Note: Back in the day, Photo Police was a French language tabloid out of Montreal, that a coworker used to buy on a regular basis. Its claim to fame (or better infamy) was sensationalizing the seamier side of life; prostitutes, biker gangs, psychopaths, corrupt politicians, etc. The above images were lifted from various issues. No surprise it sold well, considering the fascination...obsession in some with violence/the macabre.

Posted on 01/26/2016
Copyright © 2024 Chris Sorrenti