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by Chris Sorrenti

No matter the grade, I was always the kid staring out the window
anxious for recess, lunch, time to go home
with shaky leg, fidgeting in my seat all the while

With each semester’s finish
the teachers telling my parents I could be a straight A student
…if I applied myself

Meanwhile, Cs and Ds, an occasional B would suffice
as I knew I was different…maybe even special
but back then don’t ask me what it was

Except that I was the friend of dinosaurs…and monsters
an airplane driver, especially WWII fighters
I knew all their names by heart
whether any of it would have practical use in adulthood
I could care less

Truth is school didn’t mix well with daydreaming
the rigidity of systemized learning
creating only constipated creativity in my own mind

Only years later would I discover
that I learned best at my own pace
Passion being the key to holding my interest

Only the fear of the strap, my parents’ wrath…and God
kept me from straying too far from the straight and narrow
for then a pipsqueak too small to do any harm

But with adolescence, years of repressed frustration and anger
would come to the surface with raging hormones
to be inflicted on any and all those around
a condition that eventually landed me in jail
all part of the learning process
of who and what I truly was...would become

Of course I had my favourite subjects...
History, Science, Art
and though I hated grown up poetry as a child
my exposure to nursery rhymes as a toddler
fables such as Jack and the Bean Stock, The Wizard of Oz
would form the foundation of what was to come
all that would be needed...a little Rock n’ Roll
to get my brain cells hopping in the right direction
in high school, I rediscovered that English Literature
in small doses soothed and mesmerized me

But when it came to Math, my lack of focus ensuring
I would never be a jet pilot or an Albert Einstein
and though I’m no psychiatrist...psychologist
in adulthood quite capable of doing my own research
confident if I had been diagnosed back then
I’d have ended up like so many other kids today

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
is a term that didn’t exist in the 1960s
I feel sorry for all those boys and girls like me
who ended up in reform school with behavioral problems
when all that was needed was a little Dextroamphetamine

But there again, in my case maybe not such a good idea
as imagination...fantasy coupled with powerful stimulants
as I found out on my own without prescription
when applied to the right body part
produced an unexpected pleasurable distraction
of which Dr. Chris has since labelled “Hyper-Sex”

No, I needed something different to calm me down
to put me to sleep at night when my brain refused to go to bed
as I continued to suffer through the 80s and 90s
while the pharmaceutical companies sorted out the bad from the good
in a new family of medicine called Diazepam

By chance in 2003, a close friend introduced me to my salvation
a little white pill called Lorazepam
that finally righted my upside-down world, gave me a new lease on Life
allowed me to put my energy...creativity to full use
and not such a bad thing for the World at large
as in this modern age I’ve noticed it too has a similar problem
in that others can concentrate for only short periods on anything
in terms of Reading and Writing...Arithmetic
a poem, the perfect instrument for you and me

© 2015

670 hits as of October 2021


Author's Note: To those unafflicted, as the saying goes, never criticize or judge another until you’ve walked a mile in his or her shoes. Background supporting research: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attention_deficit_hyperactivity_disorder , http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diazepam

Posted on 02/12/2015
Copyright © 2021 Chris Sorrenti

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Quentin S Clingerman on 02/15/15 at 11:10 PM

A most revealing biographical poem. You came through it all a better person. Thank the Lord.

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