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We've Been Living Inside of the Dog for Seven Months

by Eli Skipp

We've been living inside of the dog for seven months now. As real estate
goes, it's unpredictable, but it can be tough to find a one bedroom in the
Bay Area, so we can't complain.

Although at times it is overly warm and damp, and frequently comes part
& parcel with various parasites (although, really, aren't we all?), it definitely
has some unexpected benefits.

The mobility is what first comes to mind. We would have settled for an okay
spot in the most gentrified part of Oakland, but it's nice to get around. Control
over our destination is non-existent, but I've heard that it's really about the
journey anyway. It would be nice to have a zipcode though -- Amazon tends
to have a lot of trouble finding us and I'd really like to finally get that bulk
order of apple cinnamon scented Yankee candles to deal with the ever-
present smell of grade-F meat and toilet water.

Anyway, sorry for the long story, I just meant to explain why we haven't had
you over for brunch yet. Even if it weren't for the non-static locale, the
constantly contracting stomach muscles make it difficult to finish assembling
our IKEA kitchen or properly get the feng shui down, and I mean half of our
junk is just still in boxes, you know? Once things get a little less chaotic and
we clear up this heart worm problem, we'll shoot you an e-vite. All our love!

02/01/2015

Author's Note: (a bizarro fiction piece first draft)

Posted on 02/01/2015
Copyright © 2019 Eli Skipp

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Coleman Demiurge on 02/02/15 at 03:20 PM

Nobody does bizarro fiction better than you do, Miss' Skipp. I won't lie, normally out-there descriptive narratives tend to rub me the wrong way (I'm looking at you Naked Lunch [the book]), but yours rises far above my petty qualms. Your way with words, sense of humor, excellence in detail, and superb use of satire and symbolism has never failed to impress. A rough draft, eh? Well, it's far better than any final draft of anything I've ever written. Exceptional work! It is so good to read you again. :)

Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 02/03/15 at 09:26 PM

Unique and weird. I enjoyed it all, especially that last stanza.

Posted by Steve Michaels on 02/13/15 at 04:10 AM

As much as I enjoyed the read I have to say - I am in love with the title!

Posted by Nadia Gilbert Kent on 04/01/15 at 07:11 PM

I have the number of a great worm doctor if you're interested.

Posted by LK Barrett on 05/04/15 at 10:58 AM

Shades of Groucho, I loved this. You know the quote, and the extension of the joke is profoundly apt and wry. Great write, thank you! lk

Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 10/29/18 at 04:31 PM

Good to see this as POTD! Congrats!

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