I wish to be indefinite.
Uncommitted to anything and
chasing dreams and wild rides
with guys
I can smile about in the memory
of old age.

But you can't predict freedom lost
and you think twice
once you feel so discarded
after all the men use you and
all that was
becomes a secret memory.

Men are not taught to love.
They just dig, dig, dig
into you,
shovel and all,
with no love and
cover you with dirt.

I tore out pages of fairy-tales as a child,
and made paper wings of them
to fly.
They were clipped when I took a vow.
But what are words anymore
but slips of the tongue?
The only thrill is
hoping he sees you transparent
and throws you a
happily ever-after.

I have had both worlds,
wild and tamed
and neither
satisfies once you've had
the lover
that has been inside of you,
body and soul.

O know my soul darling,
I have fire hell wishes
it could see.
I am a steel door that stays shut.
You may enter my mind but you won't make it out alive.
The things I’ve seen!
O Darling, do I excite?

Spark me up with words I
want to be true.
Fool me a little,
fool me forever.

I know…
Chivalry’s heart stopped a long time ago
And he is already six feet under.
I am his widow.

I am a stomping mat
padded for men's perversions.

They saw the innocence in me and
a bright light they could make black.

Baby, these days,
I am already charred and restless,
used like a motor that keeps running.
I need fuel.

But your sex
does not ravish me, love,
and my lover's sex
is as boring as a book I've read before.

You have to get inside my head.

You have to be the lover
I think about 'till I'm dead.

04/01/2014

Author's Note: **REVISED FROM 3/2012

Posted on 04/01/2014
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