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ANGLER FISH

by Frankie Sanchez

Sometimes I feel like an angler fish
and this body feels like ocean.

I’m somewhere
in here. I’m lost.
You see more of me than I know what to do with.

I’m still catching the waves
that the teen-aged version of myself
bellyflopped into tides
when he thought
I’m too big to be loved.

Except ‘loved’ meant everything.
I’m too big to be happy.
I’m too big to be handsome.
I’m too big to be seen.

I still watch thinner people do things
and know
that no matter how many lights I turn off
there’s still a reflective surface somewhere
that knows
that no matter how high I learn to jump
from this skin in a moment’s notice
it’s still an ocean I’m cannonballing back into.

That no matter how much I sweat
this ocean;
double-chinned and love-handled
does not know how to be a pond.

02/12/2014

Posted on 02/12/2014
Copyright © 2021 Frankie Sanchez

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Clara Mae Gregory on 02/13/14 at 02:19 PM

*****Stellar**** You have HEART....in my book, that is what matters.

Posted by Nadia Gilbert Kent on 02/14/14 at 01:07 AM

We are left pondering what is inside the angler fish, and whether or not the ocean have other things in it.

Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 02/14/14 at 09:59 AM

A courageous reflection of yourself and what it's like to have to endure the trials of being a big person. This will no doubt help others in their own similar challenges or create new respect in those who don't. I've always contended that it's what's in the heart that counts, but that's easy for me to say, never having had to deal with obesity, although my doctor would like to see me lose 20 pounds.

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