When I woke up this morning,
He was still first in my thoughts,
Same as always, 
Except cast from a different shore. 

My ego would have me
Race to anyplace there might be 
News of him,
The blog he prepares for strangers;
The social media site
He rarely uses;
Her page, even,
To see if she says
He has asked her to be his girl
Except, publicly.

My ego would have me 
Declare my heart broken -
Because it is -
And because telling him
Might elicit 
A certain ache for having caused it,
And then a desire to fix the condition
With love anew, 
Except grown in guilty soil. 

My ego thinks of
Nine thousand
Clever things to say
That might somehow pierce
The curtain that he's hung
To separate us,
Except the curtain remains thick 
From his leaving. 

I daresay,
My ego and I 
Are not long for union.

For Love has been discovered,
On the inside of myself,
My journey,
And it is powerful, 
Far beyond the ego's best laid plans!

And when I hail from that place of Love,
There are no sobs of grief,
No judgment for the dishonorable fashion
In which I was dismissed from his life;
No desire to be his (or anyone's) at all;

Instead, in Love's presence
I wish for nothing 
But his highest good,
And that he may reach that destination
With every experience
A blessing. 

You see,
Love simply is;
Unconditional and true,
Without jealousy,
And minus the sadness
My ego would have me feel
During the process of my heart,
Breaking. 

When I am lost, thus,
Love finds me,
Gently takes my hand,
Leads me to a differently fated future -
Even though that future has been 
Rewritten, minus him.

Don't get me wrong, 
I agree that divine timing
May be at work here.
However, I take full responsibility 
For my own destiny.

So that,in every moment of Now,
When I choose to
Observe myself from the inside,
I discover that I am in love
With Love;
A Love that has always been,
Waiting to welcome me
On a shore built for one. 

11/09/2013

Author's Note: Snaphots of a novel ending.

Posted on 11/09/2013
Copyright © 2024 Alison McKenzie