"Jealousy is such a bitch"

Nowhere feels like home and this home is only walls with a roof
Threads that stretch into the past are frayed and flutter in the breeze
Blowing from a drafty dark corridor that smells of decaying dreams
Or is it my dirty laundry i keep hidden in cloak rooms and trash bags
Hoping no one notices the dust covering the stories i polished with lies
Or the lies i painted to distract you from the truth i never told
About the jealousy that rages within me for the love i cannot have
Because you give it to a pig undeserving of your heart
As my lips form the word but my voice cannot speak its sound
Bitch!
You are all that word implies and very little more
Though you pretend to be an angel, you have fallen to your knees
And like all fallen angels you are bound to go to Hell
I would leave here if i had somewhere to go
But another home would be no more familiar than this empty bunch of walls
With a roof than cannot protect me from the cold you exude
That lingers in the air with the scent of your rotting corpse in my laundry bags
Besides, i am tired of dragging you around with me from one roof to another
I wonder, are you happy now? Are you getting that deep tan you always wished for?
It can't be hotter than Hell in Hades but I can still hear you bitching that it's so

09/26/2013

Author's Note: This is an introspective poem. An inward look at my own shortcomings over feelings I have that I do not like feeling. I write poems like this from time to time in order to purge myself of my inner demons... JJ Other introspective poems of mine on Pathetic:
Introspective / Self-Poems list

Self Portrait - 04/01/1983

Forgive Not Forget - 04/03/1983

Two Faced - 06/06/1983

Constant & Changing - 11/27/1983

Walls And Bridges - 04/04/1985

The Man I Am No One Else Knows - 03/06/1987

Stock Room Blues - 06/30/1987

Blind To The Me Others See - 07/04/1987

Struggle Against Success - 05/13/1989

But Does God Trust in US? - 05/30/1989

Every Eden Has It's Apples - 07/26/1989

See Through Inner Eyes - 10/27/1989

Within Me - Beyond Me - 07/18/2003

I Am - 03/04/2004

Life Is An Ocean - 10/11/2004

Under The Bridge - 03/30/2005

Uncertain to Me - 04/01/2009

When I'm Sixty-Five - Social Insecurity - 06/13/2011

Holes In A Story - 11/01/2011

a Self Portrait of Holes In A Story - 12/06/2011

Learning to Fly - 04/23/2012

Unfade Away - 06/09/2012

Completion by Separation - 10/14/2012 - competition entry

A Hero's Secret - 11/30/2012

A New Beginning - 12/20/2012

* The list is chronological from oldest to newest.

jj

Posted on 09/28/2013
Copyright © 2026 JJ Johnson