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"i'm knee-deep in it"

by Ava Blu

i've cried more than i've slept.

the lights outside don't seem important anymore,
the way the clouds keep the stars hidden breaks my heart.
but not as much as you do.

i've listened to the programs you enjoy.
i've tried to enjoy them, too. their voices sound like scraping metal.
fingers feel like tubes.
my ears are filled with chlorine and
my clothes still remain in boxes on the balcony.

but something is unrelated here.
something is pushing fear into all our pictures while the pumpkin head statue laughs even though he has no eyes.

maybe everything is laughing at us.

the metro is only sad when the lights are too bright.
it's just like all the movies.
it's nothing like what the movies said it would be.

somewhere water lilies are dancing along the bottom of a pool;
synchronized swimmers marching to different beats.

we listen separately. you with your headphones and me with my lips.
i can't figure out how to cut my hair myself without it being a mess.

i've cried more than i've slept

because it's too quiet when the lights are off.


Author's Note: title from the band frightened rabbit

Posted on 08/25/2012
Copyright © 2022 Ava Blu

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Vikki Owens on 09/06/12 at 10:30 PM

love FR! nice write dear.

Posted by Jody Pratt on 09/26/12 at 05:48 AM

I do enjoy this one. I had to go back and read it a few times.

Posted by Philip F De Pinto on 10/25/12 at 01:05 PM

I like poetry when it soul searches and looks beyond the typical for explanation, if there is such an animal as explanation? I love a poem which aims its sights beyond conventional range and this one certainly seems to be doing just that and hitting its atypical marks and for that it is well worth the reading.

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