An open letter to the bigot on the trolley:

you will not read this.
this is not for you.
it's for me.

I am not proud
of the things I shouted at you today.
I am not proud
that I engaged you at all.

I'm a quiet person most days.
patience and tolerance are
essential to my everyday work

but

when you informed me
that the only reason you hadn't been
even more unpleasant to me
was that I'm black,

and that
the likely reason for my ignorance
about your music and
-let's say "philosophy" -
was that I'm with a white man,
well...

every day we let things
roll right off our backs
for the sake of peace -
to keep the surface smooth

until one day
someone throws a pebble
in just the wrong place
at just the wrong time

and we stop being
peaceful
patient
tolerant

and we just let the wave crest.

I'm not proud of what I shouted at you.
I'm not proud that I hope
that some of what I said
hurt your feelings.

I'm not even proud that
there's this little
stupid
part of me
that secretly hoped that you would listen
and that the more reasonable of my words
might change your point of view -

might make you see that it's wrong
to hate a person based on their race
and it's wrong to expect a person
to behave in a particular way
based on the color of their skin
and that it's inconsiderate to foist your views
on people who were only on their way to go out
and have a nice Saturday

but then I have to admit
I kind of did the same thing in the end.

you will not read this.
this is not for you.
it's for me.

still...
if you do somehow come across this meandering little letter,

I hope you have found some peace
and some tolerance.

and, barring that,
let me please reiterate
that I hope you and your cheap fake hair
have the kind of loud, ignorant and ugly day
you deserve.

08/21/2012

Posted on 08/21/2012
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