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She
by Alison McKenzieThe locusts’ song
Whispers, metallic,
Into the heavy air.
I’ve come so far from home
To lie down in
Your swamp.
I sleep, wake, eat and walk.
I touch your forehead,
Try to soothe the crease in your brow.
I look at my empty hands;
The lines etch toward a future
I can no longer see.
You sleep, wake, eat and walk –
Sometimes within me,
Sometimes without.
Enter she, a juxtaposed blade,
An intrusive dissection
Of my heart from yours.
I observe the tool,
Regard the consequence,
Mourn yesterday’s altruistic bent.
I close my eyes,
Wish it away,
Unsuccessful.
08/04/2012 Posted on 08/04/2012
Copyright © 2024 Alison McKenzie
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by A. Paige White on 08/04/12 at 06:49 PM Wow, Ali. You start this one with the sounds the fields across the US are singing like locust destruction and carry through with such a vivid description I can almost see a friend of mine with serious personality issues turning her hat to the back. Fabulously well done. Marvelous writing. You set a mood in the first line and didn't disappoint all the way through it. Wow. |
| Posted by A. Paige White on 08/04/12 at 06:53 PM p.s. my pick for POTD |
| Posted by George Hoerner on 08/04/12 at 09:22 PM Oh lady, this is one of your best writes. I love it. The question for us all is where we live, this moment, the lastone, or the next one. Sometimes they are hard to separate. They can all be as hard as we make them. Again, great write. |
| Posted by Mo Couts on 08/04/12 at 09:28 PM Ali, this cuts like a knife but brings a clear, fresh look to the pain and the beauty. Gorgeously done. |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 08/06/12 at 02:46 PM A very powerful piece of work Ali. Great imagery in combination with the tight three line stanzas, and repetition in stanzas 3 and 5. |
| Posted by Ken Harnisch on 08/10/12 at 12:10 PM I've always thought the best poems come from a ravged heart...or a broken one. Without prying too much, I think we've been given more than a glimpse into a loving vessel on the brink of shattering...As a poem it is masterly. As emotion it is so achingly real. |
| Posted by Amie Golda on 08/10/12 at 12:27 PM This is lovely...by changing the tone you set, you dig deep at the heartbreaking emotion. Yet you do so, so simply and subtly...leaving us to conclude there was no other way to have ended the tragedy better. Well done. |
| Posted by Dorian Black on 08/10/12 at 05:44 PM Absolutely brilliant! Well done! |
| Posted by Laura Doom on 08/13/12 at 04:27 PM The depersonalization gives this a spine that defies curvature, and a voice that defines character... |
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