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M. caged

by Christel Crews

it was after midnight when i picked up my phone
to see your message
'time to chat'
was all it read

wandering the streets, curious where you'd want to meet
since i've moved so much, there's really no particular spot we frequent
in this new town
still learning my way around and finding my backstreet route

laughing at your silhouette leaning up against your car
hat and all
i pulled in the spot next to your's and asked
'goin' my way cowboy?'
and your response left me dumb,
'depends, are you goin' mine?'

looking at you in the dark
standing there on this warm july eve
your features though familiar, were so foreign to my eyes

your eyes never lifted from under the brim
but i knew the look i was receiving
'when was it exactly, that our paths parted ways?'

you never did like small talk

boiling from deep within, my response
'you left me, remember?'

two nights of no sleep, my mind racing to find the words
inability to focus
scared of what my thoughts default to

finally, my emotions took logic captive

'there's no passion, no hope, no sign of life
monotonous exhaustion
no place to call home
no shelter of support
happiness, a long lost thought

i remember vaguely what it looked like
all before the nightmare
filled with medicinal smells
and broken dreams

there have been traces of you since that winter
i give you full credit for the job offers
but each move has torn a piece of my heart away

no stability
no joy
and forget 'happy' was ever an option
our life in constant change
change has become the norm, mundane even

don't think jealousy isn't an issue every time i see happiness
i've forgotten what it feels like
though it registers that what they have
i will never know

so i find myself daydreaming
of a life i'll never have
and i continue breaking

would happiness solve this
would passion
or fulfillment..'

i stopped
and waited

'i'll buy'
is all you said
as you turned and opened the backdoor to some dive
we stood under the threshold and i lingered there
it had been some time since we were so close

then you offered your arm
and said the last thing i thought you'd say,
'it's nice hearing your voice again, my child,
let's talk till dawn
then see where this road leads'


captivity is always easier when there's someone to talk to
i had forgot that i could talk to him...

07/01/2012

Author's Note: haven't posted one of these in a while.. hopefully it makes sense

Posted on 07/01/2012
Copyright © 2024 Christel Crews

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 07/01/12 at 10:38 AM

A fine, rich piece of work Christel. Love the open heartedness of it.

Posted by George Hoerner on 07/01/12 at 12:33 PM

Communication in words is one of the most difficult of human endeavors for every word has its baggage that we all carry, each word has its innuendo, each color its own shade, each its own pitch and tremor. But we attempt it like children trying to keep the crayon between the lines and that is what makes us human. This poem makes a wonderful as close an attempt as one can hope for and it was very enjoyable.

Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 07/02/12 at 12:07 AM

The depth and weight of this piece? Pretty damn considerable.

Posted by Tim D Livingston on 07/09/12 at 02:00 AM

My favorite lines: "two nights of no sleep, my mind racing to find the words inability to focus scared of what my thoughts default to finally, my emotions took logic captive" Definitely relate. So intense! Superb, emotionally raw piece. I dig it.

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