Little brown men

with their fishing poles

dipping into a sea

of snatch and crabs and smelly fish!

And their many children

while fat women

sit huddled together smoking cigarettes

and you

with your ballerina slippers

and tights

riding your bike

witness this gruesome pointless murder scene!

A man walks out of a bar drunk and screams

"put some pants on you faggot"

he was talking to me

"it's easier to get fucked in the ass this way" I scream back

he must be 70 years old,

mad at the world...

but you should have seen those cute little couples

holding hands

kissing

how romantic!

they have been together for 3 weeks now

it's official

it's "true love"

oh don't be so mean!

the last one liked you

she was smart too

38 years old

had a Ph.D.

worked for the Los Angeles Public Library

she just wasn't very attractive and she smelled bad

what?

I don't want to talk about it.

You think your shit don't stink?

It does, everyone is better than me ok.

Oh I get it, you think you are better than everyone else!

No.

Yes you do.

No I don't. How come you have to be such an asshole?

Life is tough.

Yes I know this.

Life is tough and it's tougher if you;re stupid!

Ha ha.

Are you a comedian?

No but I'm funnier than your mamma!

My mom isn't funny. She's not doing to well, to tell you the truth.

Well tell me the truth.

I don't feel like it, it makes me depressed.

So what now?

I don't know but I feel horrible and I'm always tired and I drink too much and I think about death all the time.

That doesn't sound too healthy.

I am not healthy.

Why don't you see a specialist?

I have. It didn't work.

Well maybe you just haven't met the right specialist yet?

I suppose I haven't. I am fine. I just don't care anymore.

Any?

Well I am just waiting to die. It seems like a good deal cause I don't have to do any of this shit anymore.

So why don't you kill yourself?

I want to, but what if for some reason I survive death and it's worse than this. Suppose every day is a Frisbee tournament with Jesus and he doesn't like to loose, than what?

I suppose it would be better to be alive I guess.

Yeah that's what I was thinking. Imagine stupid games all day where there is a winner and a loser and all the women just want to fuck the winners of the stupid games. How dumb would that be?

Very dumb I guess.

I guess I am stuck.

Don't want to live or die.

Either sounds bad in my opinion.

Yeah and such little portions too...

What does that supposed to mean?

I heard it in a Woody Allen movie...Is that how you spell it.

Who cares.

I guess I'm just going to keep on keeping on.

Ok.

Yeah I have the rest of eternity to be dead.

That's true.

I can only fuck so many bitches and fuck shit up for so long so I might as well take advantage of it.

You don't even do that.

I know, I'm just saying. Stop being so negative.

Ok.

One last thing.

Yeah?

Those phones that do everything and think for you...A smart phone...

Yeah?

I mean come one don't we have a brain anymore?

Yes but it's easier not to use it.

I know but I don't want anyone thinking for me...

Well you are in the minority...

Ok.

Yeah so get used to being alone and hating most of the movies and books and music that comes out.

Is that it?

No, there's much more but I want to ask you something.

Ok.

Can't you put some pants on? Are you a faggot or something?

Yes I can put some pants on but it makes biking more difficult. Also I don't think of myself as a faggot, only in spirit.

What does that mean?

Well I am gay at heart.

And?

And nothing.

Do you like to fuck man butt?

No, I don't think so. I have never wanted to.

Maybe you just need your ass to be tickled.

Maybe.

Well I think we are running out of time.

I think so too.

Ok so let's end this

Please.

Nice talking to you.

Yeah, I bet it was.

You trying to be funny?

No.

05/29/2012

Posted on 05/29/2012
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