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Boots (Haiku iterations)
by Paganini Jones
walking in the rain
but my best-loved boots
leak
OR
raining
my favourite boots
leak
OR
puddle jumping
but my favourite boots
leak
11/17/2011 Author's Note:
I'm uncertain - the first version 'feels' too long. But the second, though more haiku-like loses the sense of loving to walk in the rain shifting to the discomfort and slight loss of them starting to leak (and needing to be replaced/repaired?) Is the third iteration, without the actual rain better, or just different? I do think the 'but' adds something and is needed. And though it wasn't intentional, I prefer prefer the lack of line breaks Comments?
Posted on 11/17/2011
Copyright © 2025 Paganini Jones
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 11/17/11 at 04:29 PM The use of "puddle jumping" makes me think the writer enjoys being out in the rain more than the other two versions. Perhaps, "favorite boots leaking........ something, something", etc. ;) |
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