So there I was again
Wrestling with my better angels
Those fluttery-winged sweetlings
Who sit on my shoulders and
Cajole me into making all
Decisions based on
Prudence and Temperance
And loving my neighbor
And all that stuff.

No, not that way;
The loving my neighbor stuff,
I mean.
Although the devil ensconced
In my earlobe likes to
Opine that some of my neighbors would
Be fine, know what I mean,
If I wanted to take my own advice
Literally.

I think I’ve quieted down
The noisome dog who barks
Inside my soul. I think I’ve
Finally understood what
Billy Joel meant in “Shades of Gray”
When he said he’s old and tired of war
And not so sure anymore.

I was hoping to invest that wisdom
Into belief I had somehow changed;
Armed with some faith in humankind
That a youthful self-righteousness never
Let me see, I would somehow redeem
Myself in time for a better denouement
When it came to Judgment Day.

Alas, the devil in my ear still whispers,
And with such keen malevolence!
I chalk up his lascivious urgings to that old canard
That we are only human and no one
Can be perfect, so just accept your flaws,
Sir, and move on along.

But those fluttering pixies on my shoulders
Remind me that life is a journey,
Not a destination. And on the trip
If you see and learn nothing of
Yourself, really, sir, how far have you gone?

I ain’t a Catholic, but I know
Enough of original sin to believe
I was invested in a lot of it
When I was young.
I’ve spent a lifetime trying
To dig out the weeds, and find
To my dismay, they are really deep
And hard to extricate
And sometimes, honestly,
I wonder why I bother.

And yet, recognizing those chips
And flaws and bruises on my soul
I know I have endeavored to
Conquer them. I’d say my success
Rate is fifty-fifty, but just when
I’m toasting myself for the effort
Along comes that lil ole debbil
To ask me why.

Because I want to be better than I am.
Because honey is a sweeter concoction
Than vinegar. Because the only enemy
In my life I’ve yet to beat is me, that’s why.

And the little red-horned guy just grins
And says, and how many battles do you
Think you would have won without me
There with you? Not every bad thought
You ever had is evil, he adds; not every wicked
Impulse you ever surrendered to makes you
Well - me.

And the fluttering ones gasp
And say, oh no, only
Those who lead the good, true life
Can ever see the Kingdom
And when I turn to the Little Red One to
Ask him his reply to that, he laughs.

“Right now,” he says,” this is the only
Kingdom you gotta worry about.”

And I think to myself:
The little guy’s evil, but that’s good.

11/04/2011

Author's Note: Yes, Game of Thrones fans: I borrowed "sweetlings" from Mr. Martin. Must be the devil in me..:)

Posted on 11/04/2011
Copyright © 2024 Ken Harnisch