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Brief Encounters of the Male Kind?
by Laura DoomThe disoriented assistant sighed
as if she thought resignation
was the answer to her dreams.
It was obvious she regarded me
as an occidental tourist
and asked me what I wanted.
I considered "What's on offer?"
but resisted the urge to waste
such originality on a girl
whose level of fitness fell short
of that particular promotion.
For reasons that escaped me, she collapsed
in a spasm of mirth when I asked
for a pack of 'Smoking Kills', though
that seemed to be the only brand on display.
I felt like laughing, but I wanted to kill.
She sensed my arousal and stiffened
which was probably ironic, but more importantly
put me back in control. Wiping her eyes,
she resumed the position--"Any particular brand, sir?"
"Just give me something cool, and quick".
So she reached under the counter
and slipped me a stick of rocks.
"Anything else, sir?
[Bearing in mind we don't sell life assurance."]
In retrospect (did she smirk?),
I have the distinct impression
her attitude was something
I'd find difficult to spell.
The whole episode was counter-productive;
the kind of encounter that gives
retail therapy, and women in general
a bad name. That bitch is off
my credit card list--there are
plenty more appealing ways to die. 09/22/2011 Posted on 09/21/2011
Copyright © 2024 Laura Doom
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 09/22/11 at 12:30 AM There's a surreal, fantastic sense of humor in this, that I don't think I see anywhere but in your neck of the woods. Well done indeed. |
| Posted by Ulyss Rubey on 09/27/11 at 07:07 PM Productive therapy and humor at the retail counter few could ever find. Your innovation is amazing. |
| Posted by Rowan Luis on 10/13/11 at 10:16 PM ha, that made me laugh out loud. just because it was so real |
| Posted by Max Bouillet on 10/21/11 at 11:17 PM I can't tell if this is penis envy or theft; a cancerous suicide wish or a sales transaction gone awry; or an introspective work attributed to a multiple personality! No matter what you call it, it is brilliant! |
| Posted by Philip F De Pinto on 11/04/11 at 01:39 PM surely, this is carborundum for the senses, past present or future which were calloused beyond redemption. did anyone ever tell you Laura, that you wield a mighty quill to scrape away the barnacles on the fore and aft and prow and keel and sail of any scrolled up piece of paper which was on the dry dock of your desk in need of such scraping, which had travailed a mighty ocean or three. in so applying those scraping skills of yours, you have thus unencumbered that paper ship free to slip and sail again as was its due for all of us to view from the shore who were fortunate to be there to witness such a trip as you make and seemingly without effort, like it was second nature or third or more. |
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